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You’re right in saying that reality follows self-image. The way you view yourself and the ideas you hold about yourself, are still beliefs in themselves, and as such, will form the experience you have. So a pessimist will hold negative expectations, and this will affect the realities they have, and their experiences of affirmations.
But as with any other kind of belief, that belief system can be changed. A pessimist can create really good experiences for themselves, if they changed their outlook on the world, and their levels of expectations. What it would require would be for someone else to give them an example of affirmations creating reality, and then there would be the proof.
To answer your other question, the difference between healthy habit and obsession, is how it feels. If your habit feels good, then it’s healthy. If you are stressing about it and trying to force affirmations to work, then that is becoming an obsession. You would be sending out a negative vibe and that would affect the effectiveness of them.
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