THE RUNNER.

I’ve seen spiders that were bigger, though to that I wouldn’t swear
And the sandflies and mosquitos, there every flamin where
They’re in me ears and up me nostrils, they’re more than I can take
But I’ve got to keep on runnin yea, and I don’t care about them snakes
They’re hanging from the branches and slithering ‘cross me feet
The only thing that worries me, is how to get across that creek
I know that somewhere there’s a crossing, a line of slippery rocks
But one mistake, I’m in the water being eaten by them crocs.

And even if I make it, there’s ten more miles to go
Through swamplands full of crocodiles and half crazed buffalo
Now that thunder storm has broken and the rain? she’ pouring down
I’ll be swimming in another hour, less I get to higher ground
The last thing that I want to do, is to climb a flaming tree
I’ll have every snake and spider, in the branches there with me
Some might think that I’m a mad man, battling through this goo
But if you saw what was behind me mate, you’d be running too.

It was only flaming yesterday, I finished up me job
I had a years pay in me pocket, which was worth a tidy bob
And I promised when I got to town to do the proper thing
And buy a ticket back to Brisbane, plus some matching wedding rings.
Twelve months without a woman, stuck in the scrub here all alone
Hanging out to see me girlfriend, who was waiting back at home
But with alcoholic constipation, I couldn’t pass the pub
Drank all night there with some tourists, woke up this morning in the scrub.

We were camped along the roadside, in some mobile home or truck
A naked woman either side of me, I’ve never had such luck
But when I saw em in the daylight, they were uglier than sin
Big bloated blobs of blubber, I think the two of them were twins
They were breaking wind, ‘Phew’ and snoring, all I wanted was to run
But first, I had to get away, without waking either one
Bare naked, I’m climbing over one, a leg on either side
When she wakes and yells, “no mate not me, it’s my sister who’s your bride”

Well, that’s it, me legs start pumping, and I’m bolting down the track
And I hears that pair behind me, but I ain’t looking back
I know this country backwards, the town, it’s twelve miles over there
Smack bang, right through those wetlands and if I make it mate, I swear
I’ll never touch another drop, God! I musta give that grog a nudge
Ah, flamin hell they’re right behind me, like fat pigs in the mud.
I must have been a tiger in the cot the way she’s crying
But if she catches me my future life will be worse than flamin dying.

She’s screaming and she’s waving marriage papers in the air
Well, she can keep em, all they’re good for is to wipe her derriere
But I’m still stuck here on the river bank and they’re gaining on me fast
I got to make a quick decision and it might just be me last
Rain has swollen all the rivers, they’re full of crocs and western browns.
But to get these marriage vows annulled, I gotta get back into town.
Ah god! here she is, in all her glory, with that gummy toothless grin
I’ve made me damned decision mate, "MOVE OVER CROCS, I’M COMING IN. ……The Anointed.