This post makes me cry!
In 2017, my aunt died from lung cancer. About a year before she died I started to have dreams about her. And in every dream she would ask me to lead her somewhere. I was always confused, because I didn't consciously know how to do what she was asking, or even understand what she was asking.
Three months before she died I had a dream (which I remember almost vividly) that she was leading me through this house-like structure. We circled that structure over and over again...we went through one door and out another, many times over. Each time we went through a door and through the 'house' we saw someone different from her life. Twice, her husband tried to stop us. Once, he told her to slow down and rest, but she said now that she could walk again, she wasn't going to stop moving. The second time she said that we couldn't stop because we had things to do, and I was taking her to her father. After that, I stopped her and asked her why she told him that because I had no idea what I was doing. She turned to me for the first time, and she said: "Of course, you know what you're doing. Thank you for helping me find my father. Thank you for leading me all this time. We're here. Thank for taking me home." After that, she hugged me. And, of course, I woke up before I could answer. I didn't have a dream about her again until about three weeks before she died...
Three weeks before she died, she came to live with us, and I took care of her. It was quite honestly the most painful experience of my life, emotionally and physically. I was sick too...in the worst pain I'd ever been in, but I didn't care cause nothing would stop me from taking care of her. However, this could also be attributed to a bit of a guilty conscience for not really being able to be there for her throughout her battle.
On the third (The number 3, I know
) night of her stay, I had a dream that she'd passed away and her brothers and sisters had a meeting in my living room to talk about their disbelief at her death, as they all struggled to get past it. I told her about this dream (I always told her about my dreams), and she gave me the saddest look of alarm (if that's possible). Then, she asked me if I thought that meant she would die soon. I started to admit that I could feel it was true, but then I could feel her overwhelming fear and sadness, so I couldn't go on with my explanation. I couldn't...I lied to her and told her it was a dream of nonsense and that I believed with all my heart that she would be fine. Every day, I was haunted by the truth. I could see her slipping away, but I thought that giving her the utmost care would give her a fighting chance.
I didn't see her before she died, I couldn't...But after she was buried, I had another dream about her. She was leading me again, showing me where she was staying temporarily, telling me where she was going, introducing me to others who were 'staying' there too, and assuring me that she was excited and happy...
This topic touches me in ways I cannot describe. Thank you for posting it, Lynn. I'm sure others will have something more valuable and coherent to add.
