[Angnix]

I used to post here a long time ago. I wanted to ask this on a local pagan Facebook group bu I didn't get accepted for some reason...
Raised strictly Christian but loving science and the natural world, my soul was in constant conflict.
I have Pagan friends/cousins, who encouraged me...
I already saw synchronicities for years (I'm very good now at figuring out in general what might happen in the near future based on them) and I picked up on crystals and essential oils right away... I read a couple basic books about beginning paganism.

But then I bought a tarot pack that appealed to me featuring crows. I would diffuse Cedarwood to purify the area (I'm not allowed to like burn sage here) do a magic circle with crystals, try to learn the cards, etc... I'm fascinated with them!!!

But... Last night a big brown bug crawled from beneath the bag I kept the cards while I was looking in that direction, it was a click bug (not a roach thankfully).

Now I'm seeing numbers that usually appear as a bad omen, but for some reason mixed with good omen numbers... The tarot readings tell of sudden change but overall prosperity in the future.

Maybe as a former Christian I'm diving into areas I don't belong in? Maybe I'm trying things too early like the tarot? I am still diagnosed with bipolar and autism, I've been told people that have mental issues shouldn't be Pagan (but ironically the Pagans I know have issues too???)

Maybe I need a better definition of the divine before trying a new path.