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Ah, those fatal words "I want him to change".
Hopeless. As you say, he is totally unwilling. You want him to be something which he is not. You can spend a lot of time and energy trying to make someone change, but he will only change when he is ready to.
This is not a recipe for a happy relationship, let alone a long-term marriage.
I am reminded of something I read along the lines of:
Women marry men thinking that they will change.
Men marry women thinking that they will not change.
Peace.
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