Quote:
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Originally Posted by blackraven
Yes and as women or the "feminine" approach, we tend to take care of other's feeling before our own, sometimes driving ourselves into a bottomless pit all because we're afraid to be open, real, honest and yes, vulnerable.
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I wasn't talking about any approach, but about communication. Feminine communication.
That is assertive as it is open, honest, gentle but firm, calm and respectful, both to yourself and the other. It's the healthy assertive, not the more aggressive version.
Feminine communication comes from inner strength. It's not a mental decision to speak a certain way. As such it takes getting used to. It can even feel awkward to be that 'naked' in conversation, yet it does feel good and shift connections to a totally different plane. The response is amazing.
It is anything like:
I don't like...
I don't want...
I don't feel XYZ... (good, comfortable, happy etc.)
It feels XYZ to me... (awkward, icky, scary, etc. etc.)
I feel... XYZ (whatever you genuinely feel, good or bad without accusation)...
This makes me feel XYZ...
And great to add something like, "How can we sort this?" or "What can we do about it?" to it.
"WE" as you then get the other involved and show you are open to their input. It also shows you aren't accusing them, you are merely expressing how YOU feel, then end with asking their help or advise. (if applicable to the situation of course)