[Pequena Estrela]

Originally Posted by Brian100

I thought you dreamed of this guy only.

So your question is why can't you find true love? Or find any love?
How old are you, and do you do activities that would cause you to meet someone? Just staying home won't bring em.

Chased away? If you act clingy to them they will start reacting like that is my guess.

But that shouldn't be a problem unless he is only after 1 thing.

To find any love you have to hang out with your friends where other guys your age will be at (walk by them real close and say Hi). True love thing isn't a dice roll God has to arrange it.

You can always find a religion that will allow you to pray to God for a True Love. . if time hasn't run out yet. The age thing is ticking clock. There is nothing more painful then having 0 love. It could drive a person to find the One True God. Mine is the Shroud of Turin God.

This is what love feels like:

Youtube:
Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi (Cover By: Davina Michelle)

The True love I had for a brief time was enuf for a lifetime! I'm going to the creator for her hand in the afterlife. I'm a pay him everything I have..all my wealth.

That no love thing scare me more than anything! Especially after you have seen it.. Its heaven!

Nothing make you more alive than falling in love with somebody! I want that eternal love thing God offers.

Mark 10:6-9
1 John 4:7
Matthew 22:2

I want this! Only God gives that. Sometimes I think God makes people know 0 Love so they can go to him for it. Nothing in this world matters without Love.

But not just any love.. that kind of love when you see you must grab! Insert hug or holding hands, sit next to.. lap thing.. whatever. .. That's what being in love feels like. Run up on you and say Hi thing! That's love.
And that person is the one he sent you.

Hi Brian100, I can assure you that I am not the clingy sort - in fact I don't even get that chance, guys literally approach me, make a pass at me, chat me up, contact me or whatever - only to then tell me that I'm not good enough, chase me away, threaten me to stay away, block me, and threaten consequences if I were to contact them again! I've been told all sorts of things as to why I'm allegedly not good enough, either I'm inferior because I'm not the perfect ex who was ever so fantastic (except all the exes that guys have told me about cheated on them...), or because my skin color, nationality, race, job or whatever isn't good enough. So never a legitimate reason, only abusive excuses. Racism is never acceptable!

I do go to places where I meet people, yes I know that sitting at home would not get me a guy. Over the last few months that's been a bit different though as the country has been under lockdown, but that's being eased off now. Unfortunately my college course will apparently continue online after the summer break, that's something that doesn't help. Not that I ever met anyone who wasn't in a relationship at college, at least not in my class, but it was great to go there and meet folks and it's really not ideal if the class indeed continues online but I kind of expected that - they have seen that it worked during the lockdown so they think they can save money by having us all interact with the tutor via online meetings!

Other than college I normally go to places too, but not bars or nightclubs since that's not my scene. But everywhere I go it's the same: guys notice me, approach me, tell me that I'm beautiful etc - before behaving like absolute loosers and say the usual "you are not good enough"! Really, why don't they just record that sentence on a tape and play it over and over, saves them their breathe, coz really I know it off by heart now! It's always the same, each and every time.

One guy even had the impertinence to say "anyone can by my girlfriend so you could be my girlfriend, but you are not good enough as a potential wife because I have very high standards for a future wife"!

So in other words - any old garbage would be good enough for a bit of fun and he saw me as no better than just any old garbage!

He even argued it out that he expected - you know, physical relations! Who discusses something like that before actually being in a relationship??? In fact he brought this up before the first date, it never came to a date because I refused after he said what he said!

See what I mean? Admittedly that one at least didn't chase me away or threaten me to stay away, but do you think I would want to be with someone like that? Would any self respecting girl want to be with something like that?

You say I should walk by a guy and say "Hi". Now, with the guys I have come across I can assure you I'd be looking at a harassment charge if I did that because all of them (except the example above) threatened me with criminal proceedings if I so much as said Hi to them ever again! Interestingly enough, most of them stalked me prior to threatening me, and many of them continued to stalk me afterwards (I could tell you some horrendous examples that would make your hair stand on end!) whilst I stayed away because once someone shows you who they are, believe them. I never waste another thought on a person who has behaved like that.

But point being, yes not everybody is like that, but I don't know that and I've had too many guys threaten me in that way as that I would still make the first move. I do occasionally talk to guys to try to get to know them but I never show obvious interest, which has saved me a lot of further abuse since all the guys I approached recently have claimed - whether truthfully or not - that they were in a relationship. And I respect relationships/marriages and would never impose myself on a guy who says he is taken, and if he is lying then I wouldn't want to be with him anyway.

Here's another example of me approaching someone that resulted in me getting heavily punished for it:

I met this guy and we got talking, it had to do with work so it wasn't a private setting. But we had some really interesting private conversations, he told me quite a bit about his life, even some really sad events that I'm sure he wouldn't tell just anyone. We got on really well and he divulged that he was single, I mentioned that I was single too, he seemed to like me and I really expected him to ask me out. He didn't. Maybe he was shy or apprehensive because it was a work setting, no idea. So after a while I had a message passed on to him, a perfectly reasonably message just saying we met there and there and would he be interested in meeting up again and my number. So, if he wasn't interested he could just have left it.

Unfortunately my boss got to hear of this message. My boss intercepted it - the guy in question never got it - and literally stole it, ordered me into the office, berated me, called me "disturbed" and all sorts because apparently passing a message on to an old friend is not normal, claimed the message was "proof that I'm not normal", threatened me with consequences, and then hounded me out of my job!!!

My boss is a very unstable man who never got over his divorce and who has behaved extremely inappropriately towards me on several occasions, so yes it was his fault and the guy in question never even got the message - but it just shows you what happens if I make the first move towards a guy! Never again! Such things are traumatizing you know.

See now what I'm dealing with?

As for finding God, I have always had strong faith in God, which is why I have stayed away from organized religions because I didn't find real faith in religious communities. I'm spiritual, which gets me closer to God than forced prayers. I pray when it comes from the heart, not when someone says I must pray.

I believe that what is meant to be happens - I just wonder why for some reason I have been meant to stay single for life.

With regards to the guy that invades my dreams, yes the dreams are always about one guy in particular, a former friend of mine. It's very strange and I don't know why he does that. A normal person would just pick up the phone or email or preferably meet up in person and say what's what. So why he prefers to go about it in such a strange way is anyone's guess.