so
in a dream
he was in a fight
with the first favorite female.
She was giving off hot energy
he was absorbing it with cold...
so he thought
after that
she's mad at him
but he also thought
he's not going to try
to want her
when he doesn't feel it
he has had enough of that
so
she said it
he gets to be alone some more
then when he was waking up
the radio
was giving a diatribe
on how some males
miss even the most obvious signals
and while it was happening
he could only think
of all the times
he didn't miss signals
even a little bit
but the female
used his interest
against him
to make him hurt greatly
so
he was thinking
some of the signals he is seeing
aren't worth pursuing
because he has gotten used to the fact
that that is all such pursuit wiull bring...
basically it is like he thought to himself at age 11,
nothing good can come
of pursuing females
and now he also knows
nothing good comes
when he blindly believes
he can have what he can't...
so
he guesses
maybe
he can find a way
to make a home
out of being alone.
He has nothing better
he can do
anyway
sigh...
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