When you spend everyday focusing on your actions, mostly your actions, you stop knowing what to say.
I show my feelings mostly through actions. I like things to be so that I can see them and not only hear them.
But I'm the only one who ever see's them. Rarely do I find people who pick up the same things that I do.
I feel so disgusted in myself because I think I'm right about everything. I'm willing to learn and
openly accept that there are things I don't know and things I still need to learn but when it comes to
the things I have learned already, I know I'm right.
But everyone has different views. We forget that its humane to agknowledge eachother as our own instead of dividing ourselves into comfort zones; "cliques"
I don't mean to bloat. I honestly just have the best interest in everyone. I don't crave power.
I crave love. Universal love for everyone.
I feel spectacular inside but so very few can actually see it. I don't know why.
As I write this, I can hear a Buddism vibe catching on telling me,
"Isn't it exhausting worrying like this? Relax, don't let that consume you"
...
That works for like a second until my mind starts racing again. I feel like its my job. How could I just SIT HERE?! I need to do something.
I need to be the change. I need to start it off. I'll give the credit away. No one has to know it was me.
Why won't anyone just hear me?



--All I know is I took a vacation a couple weeks ago to the beach. Ever since I've been home and my tan has been fading, I feel with it goes my spirit.
I need the ocean waves, the salty air, the sea shells, the friendly people.
Theres something theraputic about the ocean and I consistantly need it in my life.
I miss it, I feel like I've lost a home, a parent, a true love. Just ripped away from me.
Anyways I'm moving there within the next year. COMPLETE leap of faith. Going alone. I've been alone all my life and I have NO IDEA what I'm doing
but I don't care. I have a deep personal relationship with the ocean.
Wish me luck!