Quote:
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Originally Posted by iamthat
Maybe it depends what stage of life we are at. If we are elderly and our physical body is not what it used to be and everyday life is a struggle then death can be seen as a blessed release.
There is still the fear of the unknown, but if we are weary of life then we are ready to go whatever may happen afterwards.
Peace
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Thank you. The "unknown" after we pass does not frighten me. In fact it quite excites me , to see my loved ones again and to get to see how it "works" and whether all my images of heaven were correct or very wrong !!!!!!
Oh, and if nothing else I need to pinch ArchAngel Michael on the bottom LOL.
But it really IS the knowing of those last few weeks/ months of suffering that I'm struggling with now.
I have accepted the fact that I am going to die. But I lay in bed sometimes imagining the end and what is to come and I'm dreading it.
I was in my 50's still and rushed into hospital in 2020 with severe chest pain and bringing up lots of blood ( sorry) .
I was diagnosed with a severe chest infection and multiple blood clots in both lungs. I was on all kinds of drips and also on oxygen because I was struggling to breathe. My oxygen levels were at 85. Two weeks of this and finally I started to get better.
I had several X rays and scans.
At the time , and with the pain I did actually think I was going to die. I thought about the children etc, but I was in so much pain I didn't care about anything , I just wanted the pain to go away.
But as I said, I got better from it all.
However, I also got the devastating news that I had not one , but two , underlying lung conditions for which there is no medication, no cure, and I will die because of it.
So , to think I'm getting better , to be told that is very hard to describe.
Your whole world caves in. You wake up and remember and something inside of you drops . You feel it drop like your soul is heavy and saddened.
Life expectancy is not good and in the 3 years since it is getting worse and worse.
I now need a wheelchair, I find it hard to breathe if I try to do any physical activity.
The diseases I have are bi lateral apical lung fibrosis and severe Emphysema .
This combined is a condition called CPFE Syndrome ( not COPD ) and is very rare.
The fibrosis alone is rare , but to couple it with the emphysema is something doctors never diagnose within the same patient.
Ok, I realise I've just been "waffling" and I'm sorry for that !
At least , as my recently late father told me "There's nothing wrong with your blo*dy tongue .. " !!!