[Kupava]

I fell in love with my male nurse whilst I was in the ward, and use to have deep conversations with him and recite poetry to him, we were both bohemian types - him a musician and me a poet/artist. He asked me out a few times and flirted with me a lot, but I said nothing.

I went back to the hospital a few years later and they told me he had died of a heart attack, he was still young and full of enthusiasm for life. I must have known he was going to die, because the last poem I recited to him was ‘funeral blues’ at the time I had no idea why I was reciting him this poem. Also I burst into tears over him once, long before I got back to the ward. One of the most intense outbursts I ever had.

Anyway I dreamt god wanted me with him, that he was the one god chose for me. I felt and intuited that all the time too. I’ve also always known that I’d die young, others have dreamt it of me and I’ve dreamt it etc. But I would definitely not call this guy ‘my soulmate’ and he doesn’t feel like a soulmate, you know that deep knowing you have on that.


I did meet my soulmate in 2016, and I dreamt of him holding a piece of paper with all the ancient Irish words for soulmate on it. I had no doubt whatsoever that he was my soulmate. You truly know. But I feel like god’s will is much more important than soulmate status? Any thoughts?