[bluetimetraveler]

I have for a very long time been a loner, no partner and only during certain short stages some temporary friends. Over the last two years I met some colleagues at work and have hanged out at times with a very nice couple...but during the last weeks I have so much work that I spend hours daily at home in front of my laptop. It has been so tiring that I had to listen to long playlists on Youtube everyday to keep myself active enough to complete all the tasks online.

One day though...I watched this video of two solo female singers who created a song together and you can see them so alive, free and happy in that video. They are not so famous though, one a bit more than the other but more known in just local areas in two different countries. I know for sure I was totally guided to see this video. I was aware of one of the singers starting her career about two years ago but I never had any particular interest in her music, even less to read anything about her. I had not heard at all about the other one.

But after listening to the song and watching the video, I started feeling upset, very upset and sad, while at the same time feeling something, like a connection to these two ladies. I had not felt something like this before while watching any videos or listening to songs. I love so many great singers and composers, but I do not sense anything personal related to them if I see them on media.

For days the feeling intensified as if I felt this tremendous sadness to see them and I started even dreaming of being with these two ladies in parties and just talking to them in different scenarios. While meditating I saw visions of them very briefly and I saw myself with them but only briefly.

It seems, I met them in a few past lives in which they were not singers at all, except in one in which we were playing instruments together but it was more like taking a music class together. We were just random people, learning together but also, the pain came from the fact that I had a family in those lifetimes that was jealous and competitive, I had these brothers and sisters or cousins and these two ladies were probably temporary friends or just acquaintances that I was having a good time with, and my relatives would interfere and separate me from these ladies and just anyone else I had around me. In this lifetime I do not have those relatives though.

It is all vague in general, and it felt like a curve ball because while going through the feelings it was definitely confusing at first to feel all this sadness and not understanding consciously while these ladies who are getting started into the music business, at least on a not so big scale, seemed totally unrelated to me being in another country in very different much slower circumstances in life. It was a sadness that a very long time ago we crossed paths and became friends and now we are just strangers to each other very far away.

I guess it is something brief in my healing process, but I had never recalled being with people who are now public to an extent, at least in their areas, while I am in a very hermetic lonely path for the most part. As I said, I guess this time is just very different and our paths are very divergent, unlike my memories in which they were not public figures and we seemed just randomly connected in ordinary circumstances. However, one of my main spiritual guides said that there is a great lesson in uncovering these feelings, and it has something to do with self-love and what went very wrong with that family I had and not so much the singers, who were more like secondary players back then.