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Old 26-08-2021, 03:22 PM
asearcher asearcher is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 484
 
Wow, thank you, Ziusudra, I had no idea, very interesting take.

when i was in a relationship with a psychopath as it turns out even he gave me jewerly but then i have to say the feeling of it was bittersweet because it was as if he gave it for show, i can't really put words to it. he was cheap and i remember one time he refused to give me just a piece from his dinner. and always he would not hold up the garage door so it would slam in my face. just those little things that i am sure he never thought of, when he forgot what his image was suppose to be about. He didn't wanna give, and I can't explain that in any other way. like it was heavy, like ugh, like don't-look-at-me. One time I had to ask someone else for help with something and he did it but then I asked again and before he did it he said I like to help you it isn't that, but why don't you ask your boyfriend? (as if strange he did not help me). That was one of the moments I got it. I think I said "Oh I'm sorry. He's been busy". I was always giving gift or money to say thank you to this other guy who helped me (just in a friendly way). But I remember I felt this grief when he just asked me. I felt foolish. But the psychopath boyfriend didn't wanna give to nobody, except of course if it was a new person, new person was special, then he was this peacock, but that only lasted for a short while ,then he was back with his ways. His show was over. Short-show. my family said they found the jewerly he had given me here and there in the garbage can, and had to tell me it was worth money during, after the break up. I couldnt stand them (the jewerly).

The normal ones, partners, had much thought behind their gifts, was not so much the price even if i did not want to think of the price. there has been times i have found out what it cost and felt it was way too much and i didn't dare to wear it . Too even in ways they did not think about it , like holding up a heavy garage door while talking so I could slip right through, or be sure i was safe when to suddenly danger was in traffic and he had to react, when they don't think, those things I treasure, very much so. just that generousity and protective instinct, giving. I remmeber something so funny as my latest partner when fixing up lunch boxes for me to have at work during my pregnancy - it was filled to the top, that was not eating for two, that was for 3. I couldn't eat all that. And he was like what do you mean? I don't want you to go hungry with the baby and all.
To just be kind. Very attractive indeed.

Anyways very interesting to hear the history of it and how it can still effect us til this day =)

Last edited by asearcher : 26-08-2021 at 04:20 PM.
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