[deuce26]

Hello, I'm new to this forum and been reading a bit here. I wanted to share some experiences I had recently and stuff about my life. I was wondering if anyone could provide some insight as I don't know what to make on it. This will be a very long post so a fair warning.

Before I get into my experiences I ended up recently, I want to explain some things about me. I've always been different. This has been obvious to me my entire life. I'm a loner and I suppose they call it social anxiety disorder although I've never been directly diagnosed with it yet...mostly because I don't open up to anyone about it.

My issue is I feel overwhelmed when I'm around people. Almost like it's a force that hits me all at once and just drains me. I get extremely frustrated with this and I've lived with it my entire life. I don't lash out physically but I can get mood swings verbally.

I also have an issue where I see things that are not there. I don't really know how to explain this. I'm not delusional or crazy. My mother told me she felt when she was younger she had ESP but it went away as she got older. I see people I guess they're like ghosts? Others do not see them when I ask. This is really the first time I've opened up about this other than my recent experience I'll get to later. I do not tell people about this because they'd think I'm crazy and want to place me in an institution so I've bottled it up my entire life.

I'm isolated, a loner. I don't have any friends irl though it seems people seem to gravitate and love being around me. I tend to push people away who try to get closely though. I've never been in a deep relationship with anyone mostly because I think I'd be difficult and I can't handle long periods of being around people. I don't like associating with other males. I prefer being around females and for some reason women have always been attracted to me(not necessarily physically I just mean liking me).

I'd rather talk to my dog than a person. I have difficulty sleeping at night. I get what I guess is sleep paralysis especially in nightmares. Sometimes I get things I can't explain in my sleep though. Like I'm someone else's body or when I get sleep paralysis I can see myself sleeping standing somewhere else. It's difficult to explain. I'm extremely articulate even my teachers growing up mentioned this. I'd say despite all the oddities with me that's not normal, I've a very down to earth person. I don't get manipulated easily and can tell when someone is lying. When I play cards like Texas Hold'em I often can read another player due to this ability.

I have an unusual ability to slow everything around me and soak the environment in. By that, I mean see smaller details people likely overlook. I have not been able to maintain a consistent job my entire life and I do not like people bossing me around. I would say my anxiety issues can also be debilitating too.

I'm posting today because a series of events have happened in my life I don't understand yet. I've been pondering more and more recently where my life is going as I'm 35 and it has gone nowhere in a hurry. I have no direction, I'm aimless and can't even say what my identity is. My parents/siblings know something is wrong with me but all they can do is be supportive as they're just as confused as me. I can't really open up to them because they don't understand what I go through.

That's why recently I started to see a counselor that my family wanted me to do since I don't open up to anyone and they're concerned about me. I was recommended to a psychiatrist to get meds to help my problems but with the recent pandemic I can't do. I've never seen a counselor or psychiatrist before as I've always just dealt with these problems myself.

This leads me to a recent experience I had. I was walking my dog as I like to do this everyday due to about a mile isolation around my house where I have no interaction with anyone and I can just enjoy nature around me. It's quiet and peaceful plus I get to see plenty of wildlife which I love. Out of nowhere this truck pulls up on me right before I get to my house.

This young woman starts talking to me and immediately got on the subject of something spiritual. She tells me that she has the ability of foresight and that this meeting with her today she already saw happening. To prove it she told me many personal details about myself nobody could possibly know because I never shared it with anyone. I realize generalities can be anyone but she was detailing very specific personal stuff and not exactly getting them wrong. I'm not sure how someone could possibly guess this stuff.

Anyways, she tells me these things then asks me if I have hallucinations of seeing things or difficulty sleeping and many other things that directly described my problems. She said that I have issues with controlling the energy around me that people give off which is why I gain anxiety on people. She said my aura was extremely strong and she could feel it immediately when she came up to me.

She mentioned many other things that made sense to me like she claimed I'm a traveler and have the ability to astral walk as she called it. Basically, this conversation went on for a few hours and she said she's love to help me with my problems and teach me how to control it. I mentioned to her about the counselor and psychiatrist and she begged me not to do it as it would ruin what she said are gifts.

She did not seem malicious at all in intent. The only thing she said that made me think she was being manipulative or trying to take advantage of me being vulnerable is she said she could even help me exert sexual energy if I needed help there. Even then, I don't think she was trying to take advantage. Wasn't asking for money or to join some cult.

I exchanged numbers with her because why not? This type of experience never happened to me before so I was interested in learning more. She told me to look up Indigo Star Children as she said this is what I am. This is why I'm here today after reading about it more.

She texted me very aggressively for about 2 weeks but I started to ignore her messages as I didn't really know what to make of our conversations. She seemed nice and not trying to harm me or anything. I have not talked to her this past week as she continued to try to talk to me but I ignored. I didn't want any trouble and I guess that's what I tend to do is just push people away.

I don't really know what else to do as the experience is bizarre to me and I keep rolling it through my head as to how someone could be lying. Some things just don't make sense how she'd know about things and I'm wondering if everything she said is true.

I believe in god(christian) and I do believe there's things out there we can't explain. I want to believe there's something greater than us out there as I've always gazed at the stars with profound thinking. I guess that's just how I am I always think about the greater details that maybe others will overlook or ask questions nobody else will.

Anyways, any advice is appreciated. I'm unsure what to make on all this and I'm still searching for a path.

Thanks to all who took the time to read this absurdly long post. I haven't really opened up to anyone before in my life and recently doing this seems to be helping more. I forgot to mention I'm a Libra too I don't know if that matters.