If you're an empath you already know that as an empath, we usually put other's emotional needs before our own. It's just our nature because we're so in tuned with how others are feeling.
But what happens when others want something from us and we put our needs first? For me it's a rarity that I put my needs first, but in having lived a lot of life, I've been pushing back lately and stating what I will or won't do.
I am overwhelmed with loud crowds and big get togethers, such as family holiday parties. I recently sent a dish with my spouse that I cooked to a family holiday party, only I stayed home. I insulted the host (my sister-in-law) and I was told she was disappointed I did not come.
I knew how uncomfortable I would have been had I gone to the party, what with all the various people there. Instead of giving in to expectations, I did what I felt I needed to do for myself for a change only to feel I messed up, let someone I care for down, felt guilty and selfish for my actions.
I told my spouse I'd like to explain to my sister-in-law why I didn't come and it's nothing personal, but he said his family doesn't care to hear about such stuff like living as an empath.
