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Originally Posted by wstein
You are right, the recall of the actual incident often doesn't change all that much though one might get a more inclusive view rather than fixating on one specific detail. What does change a lot is one's emotional reaction to what happened (most often to be less intense).
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Oh yeah - that definitely happens. IMO the emotional charge dissipates once it's "had it's say", but the memory (and the feelings you had at the time) remain. It can make traumatic memories a LOT easier to live with. Heck, it makes living a lot easier. As I've been exploring my memories I've been taking the time to release any "stored up emotional charges" that I find. Mostly rather minor stuff, but it's nice to finally let it all go. As a dissociative type I have a bad habit of storing feelings rather than feeling/processing them, especially when I was younger. Out of sight is NOT out of mind.
This approach to emotional trauma doesn't seem very popular however. I'm not sure why. It works, and it's fairly simple to do, but for major traumas it does mean you quite literally "walk through hell". You "relive" your trauma, and I think in many cases people simply can't/won't do that. In those cases other methods may work better. However you do it, after you've "diffused" the emotional charge a bit (or a lot), it's easier to finally let it go.
And there's a funny thing that happens as you release this stuff from earlier and earlier in your life. You find ones you don't want to let go of. They hurt, but you want to keep them. Feel you should keep them. They're part of who you are - what you believe in - what you stand for. You want them to stay because they're a reminder. Personally, I think we're better off letting those go too. You won't forget who you are without them, but you will feel a lot lighter. IMO less emotional baggage is a good thing.