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I know this is an old thread but how is it going?
I am studying to be a therapist and I do think that grief is a part of the human condition, as in, a byproduct of evolution where this emotion/behavior helped to strengthen bonds between people (bonds = better chances of survival). If people cared more in the face of death, they will work hard to keep people around. Also, I think there is a complete disregard for death and grief in today's world. What happens when someone dies? Your work gives you a few days off. Your friends avoid you for a while. Then, you are expected to "snap out of it" and get back to "normal." This prolongs grieving.
As far as your mother goes, she was not processing her grief, when then turned to anger. Anger tells us something is wrong. She displaced her anger onto you with her words "it won't bring him back." Therapy and grief counseling isn't for the dead. Its for the living to figure out what is going on inside, process it, and bring that healthily into relationships. But like all things, people have a different way of coming to things. Perhaps hearing it from YOU wasn't what worked. Sometimes people have to hear the same advice from a different person for it to mean something. That doesn't mean you are wrong. You are just not the person that holds the meaaning within that suggestion, if that makes sense. It could be that you are too close to the person who died, so in essence you are taking that person's place. It is easier to bring out anger which is displaced grief on you, because the dead person isn't there to recieve it (even though the grieving person probably wouldn't be angry person, but the grieving person cannot otherwise conceptualize the abstract nature of grieving and death.).
I hope that makes sense, and all is well.
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