There's no right answer yah know?

It seems like/sounds like you have a lot of ego.. being a former ego and still a member of EGO's anonymous I understand

Have you ever done exercises of being in the center of your head "pineal"?

Have you ever tried to go into the higher mind..? these are some exercises my teacher taught me to quiet my ego.. which still runs a lot.. consciously now more than ever..

Funny story, is my teacher has done a few healings on me.. and sometimes he'll be like "stop thinking!" I find it funny he's aware I am thinking..