Oh I'm sorry, CosmicWonder. What a mess, so she's back with the ex now. I have to say I still kinda admire you to be able to have a friendship with someone and yet have romantic feelings for them and sometimes intimacy, for me it would be too much to handle, then again who am I to talk, haven't exactly had a smooth sail myself. A part of me wish to say that if you did show her how much you love her, care for her in a romantic way that she might then start to look at you differently. But I understand you might think it might scare her off and maybe you are afraid? to then loose her completely? (you don't have to answer that of course, just me speculating). I had a friend who's husband knew from the start she was the one but she did not see him like that at first but because he "stated his case" she began to see him in such "colors" and well now they are married and I can honestly say I've been happy for them, it is a really good relationship. Then again I know how I work by now - if I have been rejected then my feelings, my image of the guy doing that gets me turned off and then I think he's not for me no more even if he later wants me back, I've then moved on, it's like I see them then in a different light - and not the good kind. Games turns me off too.
It is so hard to give advice on romance.

Wishing you can heal from all this and hoping for a better tomorrow for you no matter how it all turns out.

Much kindness