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You're cautious to not influence him or project your concerns on him but as a parent of a young teen you have authority. You have not only the right but an obligation and duty to set and enforce strong boundaries if his wellbeing is threatened or endangered.
You are not the bad guy here. Being a parent is not playing the role of the bad guy. You have valid and legitimate concerns.
Here's an idea: you can test the dream by evaluating what happens if you allow the other family's child to enter into your home. This would fulfill the dream and give you a direct opportunity to evaluate so that you can form your parenting decisions.
Instead of teaching your son the negatives in life as warnings, and things to avoid, show him your values first. Then contrast, in general terms (rather than directly focused on that particular family), what sort of human behaviors, values and mentalities are toxic to your family's values and wellbeing. Give him the tools to examine and evaluate and weigh and measure so he can make informed decisions for himself, too.
If he knows the right and good values first, he will be better equipped to recognize the detriments and decide on his own that he does not want to be involved.
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