I've already thought about that!
And I do have some knowledge as I have worked in mental health in the past. But I can tell the difference between the two for a number of reasons. Firstly I am
intellectually happy to detach from him
forever because it would be easier, but there is an energy inside me much bigger than I am that won't let me. And I have no control over it, it is just 'there' Like concrete in my solar plexus and heart chakras lol! And if I try to emotionally disconnect, the pain is immense, unbearable and the only thing that heals it is accepting a reconnect.
Also I don't 'need' him, whether that be on a friendship, career or romantic level. I am quite open to hanging out with my friends, dating other guys, , and generally living my life and pursuing my career. Indeed, only today I met a guy I really liked with whom I had tons in common, and would have made a date with in a split second had I not been too shy, because he seemed to like me too! God, he was
so cute, and seemed a nice person! There was that spark where you meet each others eyes, but I panicked and didn't let it linger long enough. Not because of my TF but because I was genuinely shy and anxious about being rejected/making a fool of myself! It's been a while girls, there are bats in my belfry
Somebody who was truly obssessed would not be doing that. I can be on the other side of the planet (in fact I'm living three hundred miles away from him at the moment) and I know that weird inner connection will still be there. I feel for him and think of him daily, because I know he is part of me, but it does not affect my life or my other relationships whether existing or potential ones.
I know it's a loving, onn-destructive connection as well because he will tend to withdraw himself from me if he is going through a bad time, so that I am not weighed down by the energy. This has only begun to occur recently, as the connection has evolved and our souls have grown more used to it. Before then, there were many times when his energy weighed me down and it felt like I had a lead weight in my solar plexus chakra!
I just love him, unconditionally, on every level, totally and I know it will always be there, regardless of who we are in the physical or who we are with. It's love beyond romantic love or friendship love, it's amazing
