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HalfaMan... You are facing an enormous challenge in losing both your beloved wife and your mother. And all you describe is part of the deep grieving that is natural and necessary... for you to heal and grow from this.
At some point you may find you are willing to begin to let go of the pain... the loss, and the pain you took from your wife... because you would rather feel the connection and the love with her instead.
Many people are able to connect and commune with loved ones who have gone to the other side. It may help you to read some of the many true stories about their experiences. One book I suggest is: "True Stories of Messages from Beyond" by Julie Aydlott.
blessings
Xan
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Go within, beloveds. Go deep within to the Heart of your Being.
The Truth is found there and nowhere else.-Sananda
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