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JATD
Good advice, I wanted to say also that when I found myself alone after two wonderful extra ordinary years with my TF and he 'ran' (for about 2 months) I felt like all those things I did were mere diversions. He did come back and we are near the 'harmonizing' stage HOWEVER, I am left with the pain and hurt and working through the feelings of betrayal etc...so if/when they return there is still another bout of 'baggage' to tend to and I am living it now even though it's been a year since we reunited after our short break up.
I know this sounds crazy on all levels but one thing I do A LOT is walk my dog and go through the local cemetery. YEP I do want to know why? It brings it ALL Into focus. How short this life experience is, do I want to continue in 'low energy fields' as I call it? Staying stuck in the past or worry of the future robs me of the moment I am in and seeing grave stones reminds me that ultimately THIS IS MY soon to be destiny (and I am 40 btw) and I choose what to place my focus and energy on. I realize while walking through that NO ONE should have THAT much control over my well being. Believe me...by the time I get home, the walk has (even if it is for the moment) left me refreshed, refocused and ready to move forward.
By now I can name off about 100 of the grave stones LOLOL but it is still a constant reminder to me of my choices and I have the ability to manifest positive energy or negative and what is more worth it?
I DO UNDERSTAND ugh way too much how you feel, I AM THERE with you, I can "feel" your pain LITERALLY but just know that when it comes down to it, you must LOVE YOURSELF regardless of his choices and actions.
I for one can't say that 'doing' anything eased the pain for me it just simply didn't it was just a way to fill my time with activity. However, the daily (just about) walks through the graveyard (its a huge one) is the BEST antidote I have found.
Love yourself and remember that everything that 'is' is perfectly in order according to your chart, WHAT YOU RESIST WILL PERSIST
OH btw when did he finally come back? When I STOPPED CHASING and started to truly move forward. As he says "what a wake up call for him and he was such a fool and couldn't bare the thought of someone else enjoying me the rest of their lives" LOLOL go figure but the pain is still there, is it less? YES but I still struggle with looking in his eyes and feeling anger to the WHOLE situation including THOSE who aided him in his choice to leave.
I suppose it all comes down to what seat do we want to sit in? What are we focusing on that continues to manifest? What lesson is our soul attempting to learn and move through with the process? We do not NEED to 'become' whole, WE ALREADY ARE....learn what that means and move forward with that.
I hope this helps although I know right now your looking for a magical potion that believe me DOESN'T exist its just all a lesson try to detach and become the observer, the director of your own movie screen and be a witness ....
HUGS HUGS HUGS
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