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Very honest and heartfelt sharing Native spirit . I can relate because I also came out of an abusive family who ridiculed me and did not care whether I lived or died. That is most likely why I became a high achiever, because I felt a strong need to prove something.
I have had to do a lot of work on my myself, not only because of the impact from my military experience but also from growing up in an unhealthy family. The work which I have done on myself over many decades, transformed me.
In the past I was very bitter but I have come to terms with a lot of my past, and today I forgive my mother and siblings, even though they are no longer here on Earth, I forgive them in my heart. I suffered greatly due to my family of origin here on earth but in a strange way their ignorance imposed on me pushed me to seek out a deeper experience.
I have shared here on this forum how I lost my eyesight and was totally blind for about 5-years, only regaining my eyesight after more then a dozen eye surgeries. When I lost my eyesight in Vietnam I called my mother from Japan and told her. Her response to me was “please don’t bother me with your problems.” It hurt to hear my mother say that.
I had a lot to work through and I am still working through stuff. For me, that is the value of human life; that in spite of the darkness you do what you can to let your own innate light shine. Fear can be a killer of love, and when it comes to spiritual matters I have experienced nothing but love and deep inner peace in spite of the rough road traveled early in life.
In my opinion parents and siblings are on a spiritual journey just like me and everyone else, they do not always share love with their children. I would have rather not had the family which I was born into but having worked as a social worker with abused kids I know it could have been a lot worst for me.
Namaste
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