[serendipity]

Children at that age blame themselves for everything. If you humble yourself to her, let her know that you are struggling and that is why you cannot take her in, you save her from blaming herself for all the trouble she's had with you as well as with other adults. This could be a healing experience for her if you take appropriate responsibility. She's the one who was abandoned by every adult in her life when adults are supposed to be the ones responsible. If you let her know that you are not perfect, you help her in so many more ways and make her life a lot easier. The psychological trauma is bad enough, let alone spending years believing it's all your fault and there's something wrong with you is something no child should have to deal with. It's not her fault the situation she's in, she was failed by adults, she deserves to know that. Please tell her that.