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Originally Posted by SmallVoice
I just remember her telling me once that, after being in so many foster homes, she feels like no one wants her. But at the same time, she doesn't really seem to want anyone else, so I don't know if I'm letting her down or letting her have her way.
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A thought. This seems to be classic behaviour. She is so accustomed to being rejected that her way of dealing with it is to reject others before they have a chance to reject her. That way she feels that she has some control over her situation. When deep down she is crying out to be accepted and loved.
And it is human nature to have mixed motives in such a situation. I am sure that you genuinely want to help this girl but at the same time you maybe want to assuage your feelings of guilt, to make up for not having got it right the first time.
But you are in a difficult situation and really you need to put your marriage first.
And perhaps it would be good to step back and take the detached view that this has all unfolded exactly as it should, and this girl has chosen these life experiences for her own learning and also for the learning of everyone involved. It seems to have been a big learning experience for both you and your wife. This is not necessarily being callous and uncaring, but there is always a bigger picture, a higher perspective.
Peace