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Both are painful.
In a way being dumped is easier as you don't have to do it yourself so you don't have to make the hardest decision ever. Often you already know it's not working but lack the strength to end it, out of fear what will come next. So it's easier to just stay put in a dysfunctional relationship. Maybe even hoping, waiting, for the other to make the tough decision you can't make yourself.
I remember when I wanted/had to end my marriage... In spite of all I've been through in life, that remains the hardest thing I ever had to do. To rule over 3 other people's lives, and then my own.
To date I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy to go through the hell I went through to make that decision.
Went from fear, doubt, anger, guilt, strength etc. etc. Guilt being the most prominent one.
What most people don't see is that the one that ends a relationship loses the exact same that the dumped one loses.
I lost my dreams and hopes for the future, just as he did. I lost my hearth & home, my husband, my safety, my social circle. I lost my entire world.
NO ONE ever thinks about that. The outside world just blames you and can even go as far as saying, "Well, you wanted that yourself!!"
Really? I didn't ever want to divorce, that wasn't my dream & hope for the future! But his behaviour and refusal to work on it left me no choice. So I felt rejected on top of the rest of the pain.
So both are horrible, but I lean towards saying that dumping someone is harder. Takes more courage & strength & guts. To do, but also to withstand external criticism afterwards.
Maybe that's why many do the dumping the lame way? Via email, phone or just disappear, because they lack the baws to do it face to face.
Want to add to that... when dumped you get sympathy, you are entitled to hurt and cry and feel sorry for yourself and what you lost.
You get none of that when you dump someone and that makes it extra tough. As an example, I had to work through all the pain and what I'd lost -incl. hopes & dreams- by myself AND still be the rock for my children who were also in deep pain, confused etc.
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