I ran across a piece yesterday that reminded me of you and your YHVH and Elohim dilemma.
I will see if I can find the article but I do have a piece of it on this site.
The two examples below where given to explain a circlular Light with no end and a beam of Light with a beginning and an end or at least two termination points believe.
But I thought about you when I read at the bottom Elokim and Havaye.
Might be nothing but yet it might be everything.LOL

Quote:

1.Kav (beam) of Creation..............^ 2. Circle of Creation Memale Kol Almin ............................^ Sovev Kol Almin.... (The Light that fills the worlds)........^ (the Light that surrounds all worlds) Or Primi (inner Light).......................^ Or Makkif (a transcendent Light) Elokim (imminent name of God).......^ Havaye (transcendent name of God)

here is the article.
https://www.chabad.org/library/artic...h/Tzimtzum.htm