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Originally Posted by LibbyScorp
Do you believe in this newer term called love bombing?
Most articles I've read claim it is something that often takes place in whirlwind romances that start off all passion but hardly last. The explanations tend to be more lengthy but here is the gist of what goes on...
The love bomber gives 120% effort with excessive contact, feeds off the other person's attention, notices the attachment from them, then finds their weak points and buttons to press only to discard them with ease before any real commitment is made to the relationship. The one being love bombed then feels defeated and left in the cold. The love bomber then returns weeks or months later at their convenience of needing attention. They know the right things to say and do that start the infatuation stage back up. After a series of gaslighting comments making the other person question their suspicions and sanity, the viscious cycle starts all over again. Unfortunately this can go on for years unnoticed where the one falling victim is continuously in a state of confusion about it all before finding the strength to put a stop to it.
Idealization, devaluation and discard are said to be the 4 phases of love bombing.
Have you experienced this before? Do you believe this behavior is a trait of a narcissist? Or do you think it's a bunch of **? Are you a love bomber? Lol
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My ex used to do this to me and he was abusive towards me. Everything was so perfect in the beginning and then I felt like I didn't matter anymore. We broke up 3 times basically and got back together. He said all the right words. All the sweet things. He seemed together. Sweet. Caring. Intelligent. Everything seemed so perfect. Then he began to push me away and disappear on me for days, to days to weeks at a time. The entire time I thought I was crazy and always second-guessing myself. After a while, I began to notice what was going on due to my therapist talking to me about what he was doing and we broke up finally. He loved the control he had over me. I suffered many nights crying myself to sleep and feeling as if I didn't matter. It took me so long to get out of it due to his threats and I was deathly afraid of him too. I'm so glad things is over with now and that I don't have to deal with this anymore. Now I'm very cautious when things push things way too quickly, especially if a guy shows interest in me and pushes things way too fast. I just set up healthy boundaries and tell him that he's going way too fast. When I don't take the bait, they usually move on and try to find someone else who they can manipulate and gaslight. My ex was very very abusive and I am glad I survived the whole thing. I've been working on my self-esteem now and learning to love myself too. If anyone else has dealt with this, please know I know how it feels and your not alone. Feel free to reach out to me if you'd like too.
