Hi i am sorry all these bad things has happen to you and hope it will change.

when i read your title of the thread i by instinct thought you don't correct karma, karma correct you.

i hope you don't feel my words are offensive. i don't mean them to be.

For me I have had detailed past life memories.

In one I was hesitent to marry so soon, so fast and on top of it I really did not like how it was arranged. During what was a very brief engagement period I tried to lift the issue by having the wedding postponed. what were my real alarming bells was that I was under someone else's thumb and coming from a home where I had been dominated I feared I was walking into a trap. Until then I think I had seen the marriage as a way to be free from domination and expectations. The day I would be free. But already my then future husband showed signs of a need to control and to dominate me and I knew that going into this relationship with him would not be easy for me, even if there was love.

Anyhow, I believe I hurt him. I did not want to hurt him. But I did. I think the reason I wanted us to be engaged for the complete year was because I felt we already had an issue that we needed to adjust ourselves too. Without so much having the words for it, I was an independent working girl who loved what I did and was starting to come forward in my occupation, but saw strong signs that my future husband did not want me to be anything but a wife to please him and stay in his shadow and do my duty and so that he could have his career and his need of blossoming. He had no desire to understand or be supportive of what was to me not only an occupation but a strong hobby, interest, so to say. Those days, 50's roundish, what I thought or felt was not something that the Western society had taken to heart and I was left feeling abnormal and outnumbered and even selfish.

We did marry, we did not wait. We had had a difficult emotional fight about it and I had been sobbing and he had been screaming, dominating and was supported by my parent too. Even if they were not the same generation it pretty much felt as if they were and they were definitely teamed up against me. My parent had decided what kind of wedding it would be and had gone in full blown capacity to arrange it this way and my future husband was all for it. It was to be a lavish society - look at me - kind of wedding and just the thought of being part of something like that made me want to run away as fast as I could. It was really about my parent showing others how successful we were, to impress others. It really had everything in it that I did not want my wedding to be like, but nobody ask me. Somehow the parent made it look like it was my duty towards my parents to have that kind of wedding. And so when I was talking about having the wedding further ahead and a different kind of wedding I was told it was too late and pretty much the attitude was how-dare-you?!

Me having complete nightmarish feeling about this from my past life memories made me think it had to be in some old newspaper and it was. I would also find a friend's description of it, which was different than the stiff words in the article, years later remembering having attended it, telling how nightmarish it was to just see her friend, so young, who had lost all color to the face, who kept walking forward in the church with the bouquet shaking like crazy, who look like she was going to faint any minute, and who had silent tears going down her cheeks. I even found old film footage of it, no sound, from those old days and when I pause I see how the eyes look, completely emotional drained and just wanting this nightmare to be over with. The title in the article was with all lights shine on the husband to be - the successful one, that he was getting married, that he was so-and-so, and this just being a move in the direction to give him more attention and establishment. He had originally come from a modest, poor background and had fought his way to where he was, and it was another sign of success to him, showing he had married a girl with the "right name", "fine" background. The family secret was we did not have much money anymore, which was why I think the parent wanted me married of to someone who made lots of money and was going to make much more, was on his way. My memories contains of fights of the parent getting hold of money that originally came from my husband and him not approving of it, placing me right in the middle, not being able to please both.

I have this thought that if I had not hurt him what had happen to me with then having a fiance who suddenly as we were merely talking of how we would get married chose to cancel it, dump me instead, would perhaps not have happened. That I needed to know what it was to be on the other side of this, to have both experiences.

And now I know both and hopefully that has balanced it up.

I there by just think one has to go through with it and just trust that in time the karma-lesson will be finished with and you can move on and that you will have happiness.

I hope your happiness will come soon :)