Originally Posted by leadville

I am so sad to hear what happened to you, Elfin, and I sensed you wanted to share something. I agree that the word abortion is cold and it's clinical and lacking compassion. It's why I prefer to say 'termination' - they're only words but words are all we have.

Your story is desperately sad and clearly no-one cared a jot about YOU. Your parents let you down, the behavior of the father of your child was despicable. I could use different words but not when I'm writing in public.

I expect you must still be hurting and I totally get that - why wouldn't you? But your child will understand what happened and why - he's not a child now of course. He will have had love and help and will be doing just fine. You deserve to forgive yourself; circumstances and other people determined what happened. You didn't get a proper say and that was plain wrong.

I'm not defending your parents but they may never have had a chance either. Maybe they did to you what they'd been indoctrinated into doing by upbringing, society, church or whatever. Again I'm not defending them but often an abuser has been abused or maybe it was simply what they'd learned from others as they grew up.

I hope my thoughts have helped you a little.