[Amilius777]

Linen53-

I feel the same way about my past. I was sexually victimized from an older cousin from 8 yrs old until I was 12. I always thought I was the wrong one because over time I had this strong shame and also a liking towards it when I reached puberty. I started to think I was gay and if anyone found out I would be sent away or my parents would hate me. Over time as I got older I read more and more stories that were ironically the same. I thought it was awful that I sometimes "liked it" but as I got older I realized how much it hurt me and took away a lot of my childhood. It is probably one of the reasons that even in my 20s I still play "pretend" when no one is around or reenact a movie while I am watching it like kids do. I have this urge to not want to grow up and it can affect my daily life. It didn't help that when I was 11 yrs old I asked a Priest during confession about what happened to me and he basically blamed me because in the Catholic Church at age 7 you should know right from wrong. What a sick sick sick thing to tell a child. And I believed it! It didn't help that my grandmother was such a zealous Catholic even to this day she thinks bizarre things about life- we actually found out she too was abused by her father when she was a kid.

The one thing in your post that bothers me is this Linen- "the violators". I don't think anybody "chooses" to incarnate to be a sexual violator or a predator. If God said it was something "to be" when you incarnate I would probably get very angry and spit at him. Pedophilia is just evil. That's it. There is no understanding behind it except that those people need strong psychological help and we can forgive them but we can't let it slide by saying, "Oh they chose to incarnate as that". I think most of us on this board would commit suicide if God or the UNiverse implanted us with that disgusting defect. I certainly would.

I do think we chose to incarnate into a circumstance where we would experience "abuse", you and I Linen so happened to experience it in a sexual way. Some people experience abuse in other ways whether physical, mental, or some form of enslavement or whatever.

I think unless we are "wounded" we don't find the deeper openings to our soul. It is like wounds open up holes in the physical form to our Spirit. The wounds are passage ways to the SPirit that is cloaked and hidden while we walk the Earth Plane. I feel as those "violators" are people who may have been also wounded in some way but instead of being therapeuatic and understanding they take their wounds and transmit them to others and continue the cycle of "hurting" or "sin" and that brings karmic consequences.

Bill Cosby is an example. He probably was raised a way to think of women in a certain light and maybe even went with the wrong crowd in his younger years where it developed his belief system that women are inferior and "rape" is okay. This subconscious belief system stayed with him his whole life and instead of changing it or realizing that is wrong, he continued and continues to justify his wicked ways because of what he feels is okay. He could have seen his mother raped by his father or his father raped him or his friends raped women and he watched or his friends gave him "Spanish fly" to use on girls in High school to "get some" at prom and this bad habit just continued throughout his life because he justified it as "okay". But I don't think Bill Cosby incarnated with the intentions to be a rapist. His intentions were probably to be a comedian and go through whatever he went through but he could have been warned as we all are when we incarnate, that if we do x, y, and z when reacting to our experiences you could end as a "rapist" or whatever negative kind of person you can become in your evolution.