Perception of who you are
 

I have this idea/theory that it doesn't matter what you think of yourself, it only matters what other people think of you, like for instance, if you thought you were an ENTP but 10 other people thought you were an INFJ, you would actually be an INFJ. I don't think it's even possible for a person's first person perspective of him/her self to be accurate, I think you can only know who you are based on how other people see you. I'm not saying everyone else's perception of you is accurate, but that's why you need to be discerning and have a good memory, to be able to separate the accurate perceptions of others from the inaccurate perceptions of others. Obviously this means I think solipsism is nonsense.

The perception of others, statistically speaking, cannot be based upon a small, biased sampling anyway!

I have often thought about what you are saying, and for me to get a reasonable outcome, I would have to survey millions of people from wide and diverse social, cultural and political backgrounds.

I don't have the time for all of those people to "get to know me" and I also realise that all I am doing by getting other's opinions of me, is soliciting negative, judgmental feedback, because it is human nature to see one's faults and not one's redeemable characteristics, because humans like to believe they are better than any other given human out there and will judge accordingly, so as to give themselves the "shiny hiney" treatment.

If one feels self assured and staid within their own personae, absolutely nothing another can say will ever phase them or ruffle their feathers...they remain totally equanamous to shame or fame...to abuse or praise...and then they become closer to the "self-realised Yogi" that Lord Krishna speaks of in the Bhagavad-Gita.

After all, it is called "self realisation" and not "everybody else realisation" is it not?

Having said that, I am an INTJ and I doubt there would be anybody who would disagree there. ;)

One other thing..

I always hit the same brick wall whenever I solicit a personal opinion from another, and it kind of goes like this:

Me: "please tell me something about myself"
Other: "you are arrogant"
Me: "yeah I know..I am VERY arrogant, so please tell me something I DON'T know"
Other: "you should really try and stop being so arrogant"
Me: "I love myself for who I am, totally and unconditionally and being a rude, arrogant b#tch is part of that".
Other: "you won't make any friends or get anywhere in life that way"
Me: "so what you are saying, is that I must lie to myself and be whatever others want me to be, not being at all myself, just so that I can be loved and accepted by others?"
Other: "pretty much".
Me: "how the hell am I supposed to live with myself and sleep at night after doing so?"
*Crickets chirping*

Ahriman - Let's say someone makes a big mistake in life. Everyone around him or her might attach a label to that person because of that mistake that marks him/her for life (at least in their eyes). But what if at the core the person who made the big mistake knows it simply was a reaction or bad decision at the wrong time. Should he/she pay the consequences for the rest of his/her life even though it was a one time event and the person he/she was at the time doesn't remotely resemble that person today? And yet if the majority of the people this person comes in contact with are still labelling negatively - is that really accurate?

If so, that would be why model prisoners that get out and try to live a honest life are often treated like their original offense. People change, but sometimes when other people's perception of that individual doesn't change, that doesn't mean the assessment by the masses is the truth.

Funny, I care so little what someone thinks...I guess because I know who I am; they don't necessarily.
They could and most probably are looking at me through some distorted glass...projecting their 'stuff' onto me.
Lol, that is, if they think poorly of me. :tongue:
If they see me for what I am, then OK...the glass isn't distorted!

And what I am is a beloved child of the Creator/ Father/God just as they are...
mistakes and blunders and all...loved so much it is astonishing...all of us.:smile:

(On our Path Home...some smarter and dumber and slower or faster than others...so...)

Its not what everyone thinks, its what we think others think. most people are what they feel others think of them. internal dialog, arguing with other people in your mind about a certain situations is you trying to control your self image.

At this juncture
of our egoic structure
it may perhaps be more useful
for our evolution
to identify the perception perceiver
Real or a delusional deceiver (?)

As for what we think
what others think
The source of such thought
is with a view to what (?)
Egoic perception ...
Endless self deception

***

I agree. Ego is something we cannot easily divorce. It's a dance with identify. If you ever experienced ego death got separate from it it's very confusing. I spent a year not speaking English stuck in a foreign country. At first it was liberating. Like most people my ignorance told me enlightenment was on the other side. I thought without ego I got to know exactly who I was. After the benefits wore off I started to forget who I was. Not literally but my role in society as well as my society itself was ripped from me and I became frayed. You have to make peace with the ego.The story we tell ourselves as well as the story we assume others tell themselves. Coming to terms with who you are or more precisely the experiences that hold us to our story. To think about what others think is the first layer. Trying to come to terms with who you are. The ego will always be there, it's a part of the psyche.

There were studies done with Alzheimer's patients and higher states of consciousness. The researcher found they could not reach higher states because there was no solid I. No platform to stand on or, leave from, or come back too. We may be able to leave the ego in altered states of consciousness or through meditation but it is always the ego we go back too. We say "I was there" and if you're able to experience these states your ego may say "I, the enlightened one was there" Someone who knows, knows this is a dance with identify. The ego follows us up the floors taking on new roles. You can never leave it. Just like a knife cannot cut itself, or fire cannot burn itself you cannot know the godhead.