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The Anointed 05-09-2021 04:55 AM

Australians.
 
Many men have sought to tame her
Many men have played their hand
Many men have come to court her
From far and distant lands
But the men who'll win her favour
And take her for their wife
Are the men who love Australia
And will give to her their life.

She's the Queen of Southern Waters
And we, her dev-o-tees
Protect her sons and daughters
In this land that's girt by seas
This wide brown land that we call home
Where the golden wattles blow
Is the land from which we'll no more roam
As we watch our children grow

Now our children call her mother
This land we took to wife
In this world there'll be no other
For who, we'll offer up our life
We see into the future
A world --- free from wars and pain
Where our children and their children
Are all --- Australians........ The Anointed,

The Anointed 05-09-2021 05:00 AM

I didn’t see no yellow tins, light beer, aint on their page
They seemed to like high octane and Green Tins are all the rage
I saw the old man lying there, Green Tins all scattered round
With a young bloke there beside him, just squatting on the ground
Did the old man take a fall I asked? Should we help him to his feet?
Or should we call an ambulance? But the young bloke didn’t speak
So I knelt beside the old man with his hair of silver grey
And was just about to help him up, when I heard the young man say

He’s only Green Tin dreaming mate, in the morning he’ll be right
It’s just that Green Tin Dreaming helps him make it through the night
He don’t like it on the mission, but his family all live there
Where his pension every fortnight buys his tucker, smokes and beer
Ah, them Yellow Tins they might be right when you’re at the Rodeo
When you’re laughing and you’re joking with them folk that you don’t know
But when the darkness of the night -- descends, and you needs to numb your brain
It’s time to buy another box of them Green Tins once again.

Yea! He’s only Green Tin Dreaming mate in the morning he’ll be right
It’s just that Green Tin Dreaming helps him make it through the night
They tried to change his way of life, but they filled his mind with doubt
And I guess he’s just forgotten what his life was all about
So I’m sitting here beside me mate in the shade of this old tree
In the sandy bed of the River Todd, where he sleeps so peacefully
But if we don’t change the system, the years will roll on by
And he’ll keep on Green Tin Dreaming until the day he dies

I couldn’t sleep at all last night, as in my swag I lay
Those words--- they kept on haunting me as I heard that young man say,
“He’s only Green Tin dreaming mate, in the morning he’ll be right
It’s just that Green Tin Dreaming helps him make it through the night
He don’t like it on the mission, but his family all live there
Where the only things he has in life, is his tucker, smokes and beer
And if we don’t change the system, the years will roll on by
And he’ll keep on Green Tin Dreaming until the day he dies.”....The Anointed.

The Anointed 05-09-2021 05:25 AM

Poetically we wander ---
Through this land of ours and ponder
O’re the wonder and the beauty of it all
The moonlight casting shadows
From the mountains o’re the meadows
While the night birds sing their songs in timbers tall.

Camped on a creek among the frogs
We hear the howling of the dogs
Wild dingoes baying at a winter’s moon
Now the icy winds are blowing
Down the mountain and we’re knowing
That we’ve gotta get agoing --- mighty soon.

Some say we must be crazy,
A pair of poets --- born bone lazy
For we are like a pair of rolling stones
But we’d consider it a loss ---
To simply sit and gather moss
So, we roll across this land we call our own.

And we hope that in our stories,
You’ll sense the heartaches, and the glories
Of the people that we meet along the way
Or see the beauty and the wonder
Of this glorious land down under
And realise the price, that our parents had to pay.

For this wondrous land we live in
Was once harsh and unforgiving
Until opened up by people such as you
Irish, Germans, Poms and Asians,
With blood and tears have forged this nation
Whose emblem is the Emu and the Roo

For the Emu nor the kangaroo
Can take a backward step that’s true
Like them --- we must move forward if we dare
So let us make the rafters ring ----
And with joyful strains now let us sing
The song that all Australians love --- “ADVANCE AUSTRALIA FAIR”.....The anointed.

The Anointed 05-09-2021 05:53 AM

THE DEBT Collector.

His speech was slow and sometimes slurred
Weren’t real steady on his pins
And his hair once black had turned to silver gray
He loved to sit out on the verandah
Reminiscing to the kids
But by then his mind was fading fast away.

He were’nt no mental genius
He couldn’t read or write
His parents never had no time for school
Yet he could talk on any subject
And with the best he’d hold his own
I tell you mate that man was no one’s fool.

He was born down south in Maitland
Where he spent his younger years
‘Till he headed off to fight in world war one
With his best mate there beside him
They received their duffle bags
Plus their uniforms, their bayonets and their guns.

They had both grown up together
Never spent a day apart
The people in that town had called them twins
And they gave the local cop some hell
But he toed them into line
Then he had to say goodbye to Bill and Jim.

But Jim, he never came back home
Bill returned all by himself
Then he sired and raised a family of eight
And I’m sure that no one’s heard him
Ever speak about that war
Or mention what had happened to his mate.

And yet I’ve got a vague idea
He said something ‘bout that war
Yet not to me, but to someone back in time
For he said, “I ain’t forgotten mate
They never paid their debt
Before that bloody armistice was signed.

Then one day out on the veranda
When his mind had totally gone
I sat and gazed into the eyes of him
And I’m sure I saw them sparkle
As a smile spread o’er his face
He was somewhere in the past with his mate Jim.

So if you make that final journey
And you travel back through time
To where, the world and everything began
And if you pass among the trench’s
In those killing fields of old
Would you search awhile for that silver headed man?

For he’ll be there within those trench’s
Standing by his old mate Jim
Who lays there in the mud among the dead
And his three-o will be melting
As he collects the price for Jim
With his rifles smoking barrel, glowing red.

And you aint never going to stop him
Till that debt’s been paid in full
For he believes he has permission from above
But before you travel onward
In those gentle streams of time
Please whisper, that his grandson sends his love..... The Anointed.

The Anointed 06-09-2021 07:02 AM

THE AUSSIE STOCKMAN

The thunder of the cattle hooves across the western plains
Dark clouds out on the horizon, not clouds that promise rain
But billowing plumes of blue grey smoke that pale the setting sun
To the horses lads and ride like mad, there’s a battle to be won.

She’s burnin’ on a three-mile front and the wind it’s risin’ fast
We’ll all be sore and sorry lads before this night is past
We’ll have to stop her at the river or kiss the stock goodbye
It seems a daunting battle boys, but at least we gotta try.

Go cut the boundary fences Stan, if we can’t stop this burnin’
There’ll be no livin’ creature left in them paddocks come the mornin’
And get that truck across the river Jack, don’t bog the heavy plow
Cos we gotta get that firebreak cut within the flamin’ hour.

She’s comin’ at a rate of knots, fanned by that swirlin’ wind
The skies, rainin’ red hot embers now, grab anything you can
Branches, bags, or saddle cloths, don’t let them spot fires spread
Cos we’ve lost the flamin battle boys, if she jumps that river bed.

Keep burnin’ back from the firebreak and I think we’ll have her beat
Where’s them water bags young fella? come on lad, back on ya feet
I know it’s bloody rough out here, it’s enough to break your heart
But them men, they’ll perish in this heat if you don’t play your part.

Strike me pink, you bloody beauty’s, you’ve stopped her in her tracks
Blackened faces streaked with tears, weary arms and achin’ backs
You fought it to a finish lads, though at times I thought you’d choke
You’ve earned yourself a just reward, come on mates, let’s have a smoke.

And that’s your Aussie stockman mate, don’t mind a beer, don’t mind a fight
And battlin’ grassfires in the dark, well, that’s just another night
And yet, better men you’ll never find, you can trust ‘em with your life
You can trust ‘em with your money mate, just don’t trust ‘em with your wife.

The Anointed.

The Anointed 07-09-2021 02:46 AM

GODS COUNTRY

I’m torn between the cities, with their flashing neon lights
And the sand dunes of my western home where I’d often lie at nights
And gaze upon the heavens so crystalline and clear,
While the distant howl of dingoes was music to my ears.
To see that desert burst to life with just an inch of rain
A kaleidoscope of colours; Ah to be there once again.
But of all the places in this land I think I’d rather be
Where the forests of the Daintree sweep down toward the sea,
With its miles of golden beaches and waters glistening in the sun
This is Gods own country to be shared with everyone....... The Anointed.

The Anointed 07-09-2021 02:58 AM

A VOICE FROM THE GRAVE.

She had just heard the news on the wireless
Of the war that had spread like a storm
When she turned and saw in the light from door
Her child in a uniform.

Silhouetted by gold from a light that was cold
Cold light from a dying sun
As he stood there with pride she gasped then she cried
Oh! what have you gone and done?

I’ve joined the army dear mother said he
I’ll cross the great waters, strange lands will I see
Adventures await me, so mother I go
To Egypt, then countries where we’ll meet our foe.

Oh my boy, cried his mother, war isn’t a game
It’s not, bang bang you’re dead then you get up again
It’s men gone insane, bayonets dripping with gore
Ah! Could I but shield you from the horrors of war.

Then tell me dear mother what should I do?
Give up my chance of glory for you
Stay here by your side while we watch all the others
Waving goodbye to their fathers and mothers?

I’ll not be branded a coward, god damn
I’m no longer your baby, I’ve grown, I’m a man
A man she sighed as he walked away
A man who’d turned seventeen today.

How long had she waited for his letter to come?
And tears welled in her eyes as she read, “Dearest mum
I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m missing you so
Forgive me dear mother, but I just had to go.

I had to see Egypt, Ah! what history lies here
But tomorrow they’re shipping us out I fear
Don’t know where we’re going and no one will tell
But I’ve heard on the grapevine, it’s the Dardanelle’s”

In the still of the night when the world was all quite
She felt a sensation inside
Like a child in her womb, crying out from the gloom
Help me mother, I’m caught by the tide.

Then her pale spirit rose from her body that dozed
It lifted then drifted away
To stand on the sand of a far foreign land
Where her poor wretched baby lay

He’d been drowned by the tide and he lay where he died
Caught up in the wire ‘neath the waves
And the ocean ran red with the blood that was shed
By our brave Anzac boys that day.

And her spirit it stayed with her boy where he laid
Her boy who had grown to a man
For they found her next day cold lifeless and gray
With his letter still clasped in her hand......... The Anointed.

The Anointed 07-09-2021 03:29 AM

MY MOTHER MY COUNTRY

This is my country, the land of my birth,
Where my ancestral spirit’s roam
Sixty long years I’ve toiled in her soil,
This is my land, it’s my home.

For six generations, my fathers,
Have battled the droughts and the floods
And have won from her soil a living,
And some even offered their blood,

In defense of this land and her people,
And though their bones lay in foreign ground
Their spirits returned to this beloved land,
for with her are their destinies bound.

And they merge with the land and her creatures,
With the forests the lakes and the sea
With her they are one and I am their son,
In fact, those spirits are me.

So, I walk through, and talk to my mother,
To the mountains the rivers and streams
And she speaks of the past and the present
And of the future she holds in her dreams.

She speaks of the times of destruction,
Before the advent of man
And reveals all the scars and the pox marks,
Just some of the terrible wounds,

Inflicted by star stones from heaven,
And she knows that the day must come
When from out of that dark void above us,
Will be hurled the killer stone.

Rugged, wave torn and wind swept,
Her old mountains gaze out o’er the sea
And the sigh of the wind through those craggy clefts,
Sing the songs of old history.

They sing of the time when all lands were one,
One land in a watery world
And how the life of that time was bought to an end,
When a killer stone was hurled.

When, from out of that dark and endless pit,
A star came crashing to earth
From that one great land of origin,
All the continents were given birth.

She speaks of the giants who ruled that land,
Plus, near all of the life that it bore
Which were piled in mounds of rotting flesh,
In the valleys and along the shores,

Of those shattered lands as they drifted apart,
And Lord, how those gulfs have grown
How many millions and millions of years
Has she waited here all alone.

Waited and longed to become once again,
One with the lands of her birth
To bridge the gulf and share with the world,
The bountiful fruits of her earth.

To walk hand in hand with each sister land
As they seek the salvation of man
For though earth is doomed,
Their children will roam, throughout new heavenly lands.

In the wind her voice sighs, my child I must die,
So take from me all that you need,
When in the heavens you fly, to those world’s way on high,
Remember, you are my seed.

When, the earth and the sun, have again become one
Will you kneel on those worlds way on high
And remember the womb from which you were born?
Goodbye my children goodbye………. The Anointed

The Anointed 07-09-2021 04:05 AM

THE FEUD

He sat there on the veranda a smouldering pipe hung from his mouth
And his old grey eyes grew misty as he gazed towards the south
Far out on the horizon where the blue skies kissed the sands
Was the ridge that marked the boundary of what used to be his land.

His neighbour, Clem McDougal, may he rot there in his grave
He stole that land some thirty years ago, and it was legal so they say
But not everything that’s legal, is on the strictly up and up.
Nah! he stole that land the mongrel, now he’s left it to his pup.

Young Matt McDougal, Clem’s only son, he got the flamin lot
But anything that sprung from old Clem’s loins should be taken out and shot.
God! he hated all McDougal’s, as did his younger daughter Jess
Who had cared for the ageing stockman ever since her mother’s death.

Now Jess was a bit promiscuous, she weren’t a virgin, but that’s no sin
There’d been a few blokes in her life, especially one young gentleman
And she thought she really loved him, till the day she had to chose
Between him and her ageing father, of course the young bloke had to lose.

Cos she loved that old man dearly as only a daughter can
And there weren’t a thing in heaven or earth, especially not a man
Who could drive a wedge between them, or so the young girl thought
But true love would turn her upside down, and bring her previous plans to nought.

‘Twas on a hot and sultry summer’s day, down by the water hole,
Just a few miles from the homestead, to where Jess would often stroll
It weren’t nothin’ like your coastal creeks, crystal clear and runnin’ cool.
Nah! it was warm and still and muddy like most western river pools.

Well young city girls they might perspire, but western women sweat
And her skin was hot and clammy, her clothes all soaked and wet
They clung to her slender body, almost like a second skin
And that water looked so inviting, that Jess opted for a swim.

Well, it seemed a bit erotic, floating naked beneath the sky
As she watched a brilliant lacewing hover near then flutter by.
She saw it circle for a moment until it finally come to rest,
On a firm pink rounded island, and that island was her breast.

Then a movement on the farther bank, caught the corner of her eye,
‘Twas her neighbour Matt McDougal and she gave a startled cry.
But Matt, he hadn’t seen her, and she gave him such a fright
When he worked out what had happened, his face it first turned white,

Then it went a brilliant crimson as he quickly turned his back
And apologized profusely. Now if it hadn’t been for that,
If he had made some crude or corse remark like other blokes she’d known
She would have quickly bundled up her clothes, and headed back for home.

But his innocence, his childlike ways, it bought the demon out in Jess
So, she accused young Matt of spyin’ till he spun round in defence
And there emerging from the water, silhouetted by the sun
Was the goddess of love Aphrodite, or was it Venus carved in stone?

Well, it didn’t matter much to Matt, cos he weren’t seein’ thru his eyes.
His whole body sensed her presence, he felt more than his hot blood rise.
Jess had him by the heartstrings and the other ones as well.
A McDougal now would suffer, god, she was gonna give him hell.

That’s the way the whole thing started, Jess wanted to hurt him bad.
And get a little sweet revenge for what had happened to her dad.
Matt would see the thing he wanted most and know he’d never get it
For what a McDougal had done to her dad in the past, a McDougal would now regret it.

Well Jess confided in her sister, who was married with kids of her own.
They never saw each other much, but conversed a lot by phone,
Her sister had married the Johnston boy, from the districts largest station
And to her, young Jess, now confessed, she’d lost control of the situation.

But her older sister Margaret had smelt it in the wind,
Cos in their recent conversations Jess had only spoke of him.
Then just before the B&S, that’s the Bachelors and Spinsters ball
Their old man who’d been out ridin’, went and took a nasty fall.

Didn’t seem to be much damage, you couldn’t see a cut or bruise
But he complained of internal injuries and his legs they wouldn’t move.
So, they kept him in for observation, cos they couldn’t take a chance.
Which left Jess at home all alone, at the time of the annual dance.

Now she went to the ball with her sister, who had organised the show
But the warnin’ bells were ringing and she knew she shouldn’t go.
Cos Matt was gonna met her there, and now just the sound of his name
Made her tingle inside and her heart wild like a moth fluttering around a flame.

After a drink or two I guess she knew, but I don’t think she gave a fig
She was held so close by the man she now loved, and lord young Matt was big
Their bodies entwined they danced a dance that nobody else there knew
Their knees were swaying their hips gyrating but their feet just didn’t move.

Well, they couldn’t wait, goin out the back and into Matt’s waiting car
They headed for home where they could be alone, but they never got that far,
Their first stop was at the three mile and there by the road in the dust
Consummated their love ‘neath the bright stars above, but didn’t quench their lust.

Five more times that car ground to a halt, before reaching Jess’s place
It could be the air in the west cos I swear, there was longing still on his face
Three days and nights he stayed there with Jess, hell, the man was a bloody wreck,
Have you ever gone even half that long on nothing but coffee and sex?

Now the old man, he’s out on the verandah, sittin’ there in his favourite chair
Which was ragged and worn, the edges all torn, just a little bit worse for wear,
And upon his lap the young twins sat, laughin’ and sqealin’ with glee,
Ridden the buckin’ bronco, their tiny legs astride each knee.

And his elder daughter sat on the stairs, she’d come to visit that day
Her eyes were fixed on the smilin’ old man but her thoughts were miles away
She reminisces,
I remember the time he first bought it up, and told me about his plan
To marry off Jess and square up with Clem, and get back the family land.

It was he who suggested Jess go for a swim, on that hot and sultry day
After ringing young Matt and telling him, to get his bloody strays
From off our flamin’ waterhole or else he’d shoot the lot,
Things then all had to be left to chance but at least it was worth a shot.

Then with feedback from me the old man could see that nature was takin’ its course
And just before the B&S he took that fall from the horse,
God, I hope he don’t ever audition for one of them TV plays
Cos his acting was so atrocious, in the end I had to pay,

That doctor was gonna send him home, he knew he was bungin’ one on
But a word in his ear, a few quid for some beer and he soon changed his flamin’ song,
Yeah, like clockwork it ran, the old mans plan, plus he got a bonus as well
Cos Jess inherited our mothers temper, now Mcdougal’s life it’s hell.

Hey there goes young Matt, streakin’ out the back, oh god. he’s a fool of man
He’s stopped to turn and argue, and Jess got him with the fryin’ pan.
Well old man, your showin’ your age, but there’s nothin’ wrong with your noodle
The only shame is that your grandkids names, have to be McDougal.

The Anointed.

The Anointed 07-09-2021 05:08 AM

THE HEALING STONES
He sits there in the shadows as the piccaninny dawn
Finally fades away to darkness once again
The dying embers of his campfire
Project figures on the wall
Shadows dancing in the embers dying flames.

Amid the paintings of his fathers
Etched in the living rock
He listens to the voices of the stones
All the stories of his dreamtime
Songs echoing from the past
To the rhythm of the clacking of the bones.

The gentle murmurings of the waters
In the river there close by
Sing the songs he heard while still a little child
And his spirit deep within him
Dances with the native dogs
As land and waters tell the tales of dingoes wild.

And he sees there in the morning mists
All rising from the earth
Ancestors from his long lost yesteryears
Rays of light, like fingers spreading
Ascending from the past
Then once again his time of darkness disappears.

Squatting there before the campfire
A tin mug in his hand
He stands, and bathes in the glory of those rays
Kicking dirt upon the fires remains
He saddles his old mare
With one last look towards the rock he rides away.

His heart still singing there within him
His soul so light and free
His spirit dancing with his fathers round the flames
But should the darkness of life’s changings
Descend upon his soul once more
He’ll return to touch the healing stones again.

The Anointed.

The Anointed 07-09-2021 10:10 AM

WHAT WAR DID I FIGHT IN?

What war he asked did I fight in? Well, I didn’t really say
So, I stopped and thought for a little while, then I answered him this way
I was in the landing at Gallipoli fighting under Turkish skies
When my father, he was just a gleam inside my grand-dad’s eyes

And I lay there on a bed in France amid the dying and the dead
With my face turned in toward the wall to hide my hideous head
I never was no hero, I simply moved by instinct, when,
I grabbed a sandbag, dived on the bomb, and saved those other men

Both my hands were missing, I lay in bed a shattered wreck
When an angel stood beside me and she kissed me on the neck
A girl no more than seventeen, my heart danced and seemed to skip
As I turned my blind eyes to her and felt her warm and tender lips

She didn’t see my patchwork face she saw a hero young and brave
For her father was among those men my instinctive actions saved
And that was me there in New Guinea with bandaged eyes and looking frail
As that fuzzy wuzzy native led me down Kokoda trail

I was also in Korea and I died in Vietnam
And one day some Aussie soldier poet will take me to Afghanistan
In dream, I was in Babylon where I heard a young lad pray
A young soldier born in Queensland; now I long see the day

That he puts his thoughts in writing for my friends, these words you mark
Your Grand-kids of the future will fight with him, there in Iraq
In the ocean where man’s spirits merge, to where life’s rivers flow and end
Don’t just wallow in the shallows mate, but to the darkest depths descend

There you’ll merge with spirits of the past, you’ll live a thousand lives
You’ll share their joys and laughter, but then, a thousand deaths you’ll die
Torn and tortured on the barbed wire, the sun searing from the blue
My revolver lying by my side, I did what God refused to do.

What war, you ask did I fight in, what war do I recall
In every war throughout man’s history mate, I have fought and died in all.

The Anointed 08-09-2021 02:55 AM

He was a travelling western preacher
A healer of renown
He would preach and heal the poor and sick
In every western town.

It was at a local council hall
In a town just north of Bourke
Where many came in search of help
They were broke and out of work.

There he preached his favourite sermons
Then he asked if any there
Were sick or otherwise infirmed
And had need of his healing prayer.

Then a lad walked to the pulpit
A young man of Aussie bearing
And he asked the priest if he could help
In some way, with his hearing.

"Step forward son," the preacher said,
And stuck a finger in his ear;
Then chanting his mighty healing prayer
He asked, "Now can you hear?"

"Oh! I can hear you mate," the young bloke said,
"I hear everything you speak,
But the Hearing where I needs your help
Is in the court house late next week."

The Anointed.

The Anointed 08-09-2021 07:11 AM

Ozzie Humor.

MY SEXY ROOSTER.

When first we got that rooster, before we started selling eggs
We only had a dozen hens or so,
And them hens were feeding peaceful like, they never had a care
Till I opened up his cage and let him go.

There were feathers flying everywhere, me hens were being killed
I felt awful, cos I knew it was my fault,
And as he chased them chooks around the yard, I threw him out some wheat
And when he saw that grain, he skidded to a halt.

To watch him tuck into the chook food, you’d think he’d not been fed
And that’s when I went and grabbed a hold of him,
Me hens were totally knackerd at least the hens that wasn’t dead
That rooster knocked the stuffin’s out of them.

So I locked me rooster in his cage and walked back to our shed
And me wife was there, with food piled on a plate,
And I asked, “Why all the tucker, it’s not lunch, but then she said,
I won’t ever let 'YOU' get that hungry mate……… The Anointed.

The Anointed 10-09-2021 06:43 AM

THE RUNNER.

I’ve seen spiders that were bigger, though to that I wouldn’t swear
And the sandflies and mosquitos, there every flamin where
They’re in me ears and up me nostrils, they’re more than I can take
But I’ve got to keep on runnin yea, and I don’t care about them snakes
They’re hanging from the branches and slithering ‘cross me feet
The only thing that worries me, is how to get across that creek
I know that somewhere there’s a crossing, a line of slippery rocks
But one mistake, I’m in the water being eaten by them crocs.

And even if I make it, there’s ten more miles to go
Through swamplands full of crocodiles and half crazed buffalo
Now that thunder storm has broken and the rain? she’ pouring down
I’ll be swimming in another hour, less I get to higher ground
The last thing that I want to do, is to climb a flaming tree
I’ll have every snake and spider, in the branches there with me
Some might think that I’m a mad man, battling through this goo
But if you saw what was behind me mate, you’d be running too.

It was only flaming yesterday, I finished up me job
I had a years pay in me pocket, which was worth a tidy bob
And I promised when I got to town to do the proper thing
And buy a ticket back to Brisbane, plus some matching wedding rings.
Twelve months without a woman, stuck in the scrub here all alone
Hanging out to see me girlfriend, who was waiting back at home
But with alcoholic constipation, I couldn’t pass the pub
Drank all night there with some tourists, woke up this morning in the scrub.

We were camped along the roadside, in some mobile home or truck
A naked woman either side of me, I’ve never had such luck
But when I saw em in the daylight, they were uglier than sin
Big bloated blobs of blubber, I think the two of them were twins
They were breaking wind, ‘Phew’ and snoring, all I wanted was to run
But first, I had to get away, without waking either one
Bare naked, I’m climbing over one, a leg on either side
When she wakes and yells, “no mate not me, it’s my sister who’s your bride”

Well, that’s it, me legs start pumping, and I’m bolting down the track
And I hears that pair behind me, but I ain’t looking back
I know this country backwards, the town, it’s twelve miles over there
Smack bang, right through those wetlands and if I make it mate, I swear
I’ll never touch another drop, God! I musta give that grog a nudge
Ah, flamin hell they’re right behind me, like fat pigs in the mud.
I must have been a tiger in the cot the way she’s crying
But if she catches me my future life will be worse than flamin dying.

She’s screaming and she’s waving marriage papers in the air
Well, she can keep em, all they’re good for is to wipe her derriere
But I’m still stuck here on the river bank and they’re gaining on me fast
I got to make a quick decision and it might just be me last
Rain has swollen all the rivers, they’re full of crocs and western browns.
But to get these marriage vows annulled, I gotta get back into town.
Ah god! here she is, in all her glory, with that gummy toothless grin
I’ve made me damned decision mate, "MOVE OVER CROCS, I’M COMING IN. ……The Anointed.

The Anointed 10-09-2021 11:37 PM

THE LAW OF THE LAND

Nothing will grow here any more,
Only salt rises out of this earth
Vast tracts of desolate waste land,
With not a blade of turf
And though it was done in ignorance,
And we didn’t understand
We now must face the consequence,
For breaking the law of the land.

Millions of acres of timber,
Were flattened to grow the grain
To feed this hungry nation,
But then there came no rain
The scorching winds and then the dust storms,
That blackened out the sun
And our fertile land was ruined,
For years and years to come.

We deplete the ozone layer.
In our atmospheric dump
How many tons of poisonous gas,
From our factories do we pump?
They say the seas are rising,
Encroaching o’er the sands
What a terrible price we’ll have to pay’
For breaking the law of the land.

The coral reefs that border,
This vast and wonderous land
Are under threat and dying,
Due to the ignorance of man
We hurt the earth, she hurts us back,
We must learn and understand
To live in harmony with our mother earth,
We must live by the law of the land.

The Anointed.

Nowayout 11-09-2021 02:55 AM

Love your poetry man...

Among the thistles, we now gingerly walk....

And the heated desert sands.

I hear you, but do they understand?

I sure love my 4X4 Truck.

Yet it's been noted that Tesla's pollute just as much.

Let's go to Mars.

Artificial intelligence is going to save us...

I will just go sit at my favorite bar..

Work, who works when you own a bot?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUP6Z5voiS8

The Anointed 11-09-2021 07:56 AM

THE MIN MIN LIGHT.

“Well, I’ve never seen nothing like it, what about you old mate?”

“Nah! It’s the darndest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m nigh on sixty-eight”

“Well where do you think it come from, it’s like something from outer space.”

“Yeah! Don’t think no one’s built it, it seems so out of place.
There’s no light I’ve seen what’s similar, nothin’ does the things it can.”


“Well do you think we oughta report it, hey what do you reckon old man?”

“Nah! The flamin thing’d just disappear and we’d be left with egg on our face.”

“Hey look, the damn thing’s following us, what d’ya reckon we crack on the pace.
Let’s see how fast this light can go, hey, ya don’t think the things alive?”


“Well, that’s hard to tell young fella, but ya better put your foot down and drive!
Cos the bloomin thing’s getting closer, and I don’t care if it’s metal or meat,
If ya can’t get this truck over fifty, then let me out - I’ll use me feet.”


“Hey, I don’t think that it’s gettin’ closer, just seems to be growin’ in size.”

“Yeah! Well the flamin things gettin’ brighter, it’s startin’ to hurt me eyes.”

“Then turn them flamin’ mirrors round, cause the light it’s floodin’ the car.”

“Yeah! And ya batteries are gettin’ weaker, Oh God, I just remembered where we are!
That’s Polygammon Creek we’ve crossed, near the site of the Min Min Hotel.”


“Oh crust! You silly old bugger! You wanted to come this way, Hell!
Do ya think we can make it to Boulia, what are our chances old mate?”


“Don’t worry about gettin’ to Boulia, up ahead can you see that gate?
Well don’t stop if the things not opened, turn your foot to a lump of lead,
And keep that pedal flat to the floorboards, till we reach that station ahead!”


Property owner .......................

“You’ll have to speak up a little Gordon, this line it’s pretty bad,
There seems to more interference tonight, than we’ve ever had.
Yeah that’s right, thought ya better know, seein’ as you’re the district cop.
Yeah, found him wanderin’ out there in the paddock, he ain’t got much up top.

Nah! He aint right here beside me, cos when Mum came out with the light
He saw it and started shakin’ then he ran away in fright.

He’s hiding out there in the woodpile, dug himself in real tight.
He seems to prefer the darkness, it’s as though he’s frightened of light.
Nah, there’s no sign of any vehicle, don’t know how the hell he got here.
Ah! here come the boys, they’ve been searchin’. Hang on, I’ll get ‘em a beer.
Yeah righto mate, I’ll let ya know if the boys found anything.
OK mate, tomorrow, yeah if there’s anything urgent I’ll ring.”

“Well, what’s the story Jackie? Did ya find out from where he come?”
“Ya, can stick that bloomin beer Boss. Where’s a bottle of flamin’ rum?”
“God! what the hell did ya see out there, anyone would swear you were white.
I’ve seen ya face mad bullocks mate, I thought nothin’ would give you a fright.
Come on, out with it Jackie, what the flamin’ hell did ya see?
Don’t just stand there flamin shakin,’ you’re startin’ to frighten me!”

“Here, have another sip of rum, careful there don’t drink the lot!
Ya bloomin greedy mongrel, ya didn’t leave a drop!
Well, at least ya colours comin’ back, now sit down for a while.
Ah! come on Jack, don’t go to sleep, and wipe that grin from off your dial!
That’s it, we’ve flamin’ lost him, righto Bruce, you better speak,
And ya don’t get a drink till you’ve told me, cos now I’ve got the flamin’creeps!”

“Well, get another bottle boss, cos what I’m gonna tell you about,
Is so damned unbelievable, when I’m finished, I’ll wipe myself out.
Cos tonight I wanna sleep like the dead, and not relive these pictures in me head.
Good, ya got it there, I see ya bought two, one for me and one for you.”
“Well, we rode down to the boundary, and found this break in the fence,
But the tracks of the truck that done it, didn’t seem to make no sense.

Ya could follow ‘em for a little while, then there was nothin’ to be found.
The truck just leapt into the air, and up ahead it hit the ground.
And those broken tracks followed no straight line, they were scattered everywhere.
It was like a bloomin buckin’ bronco, ya don’t believe me? But I swear!”
“That everything I say is true and nah, we didn’t have no grog!
But when I tell you all the rest we seen, you’ll think me brain has jumped a cog.

After goin’ through five damn paddocks and searchin’ for half the night,
Away out there in the distance, we saw this flamin’ light!
I thought it had to be the truck, what that bloke we found, came in,
And it was, well sorta, but she was smashed and all stove in.”
“And that light wasn’t comin’ from outta the truck, Nah! the truck was in the light!
With some old galoot inside it, cursin’ and screamin’ and wantin’ ta fight.

And then, he started to bloomin glow, I don’t mean he started to burn!
He just kept on gettin’ brighter, and then into light he turned!
And all that was left, was his boots and strides, his shirt and his flamin’ hat!
And ya ain’t gettin’ me out there again, I don’t care if ya give me the sack!”

“(Hic) Hi there Gordon! Yeah it’s me again mate, nah (Hic) everything seems to be right
Yeah, young fella had a hhaccident, (Hic) his truck’s a bloomin sight
Nah, we’ll bring him into town. Oh, I don’t know (Hic) later on today!
Hey Gordon, I’m thinkin’ of sellin’ me property mate, ya know anyone interested, hey!”

The Anointed.

The Anointed 17-09-2021 02:47 AM

There was an article in the local news paper about some young people in Charters Towers, who were having a wild party on Towers Hill, when they swore that a huge and hairy naked man ran through their party and scared the living daylights out of them. Although the towns folk believed that it was only a huge kangaroo that they had seen, the story inspired the following poem.

BIG JIM HIGGINS AND THE DYNAMITE

It was here, in Charters Towers,
And, although it wasn’t ours
Some dynamite was found just out the back.
It seemed the blacksmith owned it,
And when we accidentally found it,
It was leaking all the nitro from its pack.

So, the blacksmith went and bought a
Bucket full of water,
And he soaked that lethal substance for a week.
Then when the casings were disposed of,
Seemed the danger was all over,
But for the bucket, into which that nitro leaked.

And yet he didn’t think he oughta
Throw away all that good water,
So he poured the stuff into his cooling bin,
And then what happened after
Was a total damned disaster,
I tell you mate, there weren’t much left of him.

You see, dynamite, it’s new,
And there’s more than just a few
Who have used it, and blown ’emselves to bits.
Gunpowder's used to set it off,
And even that, its dangerous stuff,
Yet they store them both together down the pits.

And in them pits it’s black as night,
That’s why them miners carry lights,
Like candles and other naked flames.
God them safety boys are nappin’
Cos one day it’s gotta happen,
And no company boss will ever wear the blame.

Last month a miner met his fate,
And I lost a damn good bloody mate.
He was settin’ off a charge down in the mine,
He took the full blast in the chest,
And though there wasn’t too much left,
We buried all the pieces we could find.

Two plugs and then some powder
And because he knew no better,
He rammed that charge down with a copper rod.
One tiny spark was all it took,
And hell that mine shaft fairly shook,
Now he’s livin’ with the Devil, or with God.

That’s the reason why they hired a Pro,
An expert who would actually know
The dangers of that new explosive clap.
And when he first rode into town
The word soon got around
He was the powder monkey bloke from Ballarat.

Big Jim Higgins was his name,
And dynamiting was his game.
He was a huge and hairy man, but not too bright.
And when he spoke, his words where slow,
But, didn’t take us long to know,
That he knew the ins and outs of dynamite.

He could blast one rock from out the wall,
And not another stone would fall.
He was an artist, a master at his trade,
And since the day of his commencement
There ain’t been a single accident,
He was worth every penny he was paid.

But Jim Higgins had a fear
Which he whispered in the ear
Of a mate of his one night while drinkin’ rum,
“Absorbin’ nitro every day,
Could have a monstrous price to pay,
Hey, do you think I might become a walkin’ bomb?”

Well, two louts were sittin’ near
And couldn’t help but overhear.
So, they planned to play a little joke on Jim,
If he thought that he’d become
A living, walking human bomb,
They were gonna scare the daylights out of him.

So, with some powder from the mine
Wrapped in packing, bound with twine,
They made the biggest bunger you could make.
And they thought it kind of funny,
Crouching there behind the dunny,
As they watched Jim Higgins comin’ down the track.

Now that hole there in the ground
It was more than twelve foot down,
And I tell you mate, that dunny was well used,
Then just as Jim broke wind,
They dropped the bunger in,
With no more than a half an inch of fuse.

Well from the depths there come a rumblin’,
Roof and walls began a tumblin’,
And a bellow like a mad bull pierced the air.
Then through the dust and smoke and clap
Staggered Jim without his daks,
With mud and blood and stuff all through his hair.

On that very day, Jim disappeared,
And the search was stopped, ‘cos people feared,
He’d crawled into a shaft, and finally died.
But they don’t realise,
That he actually survives,
In the hills and mullock heaps, where now he hides.

And in those hills ‘round Charters Towers,
In the dark and early hours,
You might see a huge and hairy man run by,
But he won’t venture near
‘Cos he has this awful fear,
That if he farts my friend, then you are gonna die.

Now when there’s lightning and there’s thunder,
I often sit and wonder,
Is that a storm behind the hills, or is it Jim
Running naked in all his glory,
Too afraid to tell the story,
Of the day he blew the local dunny in …… The Anointed.

The Anointed 17-09-2021 05:56 AM

HOP IN THE BACK

He took her to the drive-in
In his brand new panel van
And he kissed her warm young tender lips
As she grasped his wandering hands
A mattress lay behind the seat
And he asked if she’d care to lie on it
But the sweet young thing wouldn’t move
And adamantly, she refused

Now the blood in his veins was running riot
He had to win this woman tonight
His warm wet kisses smothered her face
And she melted in his strong embrace
Her breathing now was short and fast
And he knew he’d get his way at last
But what was this, had he lost the knack?
Cos again she refused to hop in the back

Her passion now stirred, the boy lost control
And it was she who took the leading role
Exhausted and spent, he lay on the seat
Then he looked at her and said “You got me beat
I really thought I’d lost the knack
Why the hell wouldn’t you, just hop in the back?”
And oh so sweetly that young girl cooed
“Cos I wanted to stay in the front with you!”...... The Anointed.

The Anointed 18-09-2021 05:23 AM

THE WATTLE TREES.

He was camped out on some no name creek
He knew his time had come
He was happy just to die out there
Neath the Wattle tree and Gum.

But we couldn't let him die that way
Even though I think we knew
That the doctors couldn't help him
And there was nothing they could do.

Yet, we brought him here so he could die
In this nice clean sterile room
Where he couldn't smell the fragrance
Of the Wattle trees in bloom.

And as I passed his room this morning
With trembling voice he said to me
"Please take me back to the place I love
Where my spirit longs to be."

"You can have my gold chain and my watch
They're all I have to give.
Plus this little book, in which I've writ
All the things of worth I've did."

"Then take this worn old body
And let it die out there,
Where the Wattle trees are blooming
And their perfume fills the air."...... The Anointed.

The Anointed 18-09-2021 05:56 AM

The mournful scream of a whistle that pierced the morning air
Awoke in me a memory, from the distant past somewhere
A memory I had tried to hide ...... in the darkness of my mind
Now that mournful whistle wakes again, the memory of my crime.

How many years have passed me by? How many nights have I sat and cried?
The tears I’ve shed in guilt’s despair, but forgiveness ..... I could find nowhere.
I see her face in all my dreams, and recoil each time I hear those screams
All ye who read this.... pity me....who must carry this guilt through eternity.... The Anointed.

The Anointed 22-09-2021 01:20 AM

The Anzacs
They were dumped there at Gallipoli
And before the sun was set
Those men,
Recorded in our history lest we ever should forget
Were strewn along the surf and sand
A tragic waste of men
But proud they fought beneath our flag
And they did it all again
When we went into Korea
Again, in Vietnam
Our Navy in the gulf war
East Timor, Afghanistan
And they were out there in the desert
Fighting somewhere in Iraq
And every war is filled with terror mate
Which haunts brave men in the dark
So on the twenty fifth of April
The Anzac spirit do we praise
Not just the boys of world war one
But even those who fight today
For every one who gives their life
Who face death with Aussie pride;
Walks out into those fields of blood
With an ANZAC by their side…… The Anointed.

The Anointed 22-09-2021 03:40 AM

THE SONG OF THE THONG BIRDS.

On the old Barcoo River, where Banjo Paterson wrote his poem "The Bush Christening," at a bush camp site, there is a tree upon which, many visitors over the years have hung their old discarded thongs. One morning while sipping my first cup of steaming hot tea, I listened to this song that the throng birds sang to me..

I heard the Thong Birds in the tree
As they sang their foot sore song to me
They'd been replaced by brand new shoes
And abandoned here by the old Barcoo.

They had served their masters, Oh so well
Now in their song I hear them tell
How their masters walked them o'er this land,
Through scorching dust and burning sand
And never once did their feet get sore,
Now hung and abandoned----They'll walk no more.

Come back! Come back! I heard them cry.
Come back once more before you die,
And sit with us by the old Barcoo
And remember the days, we walked with you..... The Anointed.

The Anointed 22-09-2021 10:20 AM

THE LIE

Defiantly
He stood his ground
Surprisingly
He made no sound
His feet were free
His hands still bound
This now would be
The finale round.

Standing there
With death so near
Amazingly
He showed no fear
He turned his head
As if to hear
The barking dogs
Still at his rear.

Before him shone
The searchers lights
Torches flashing
Oh so bright
Exhausted
He had run all night
Now came the time
To stand and fight.

Prepared for death
He heaved a sigh
Why had they all
Believed the lie
For mercy
He would never cry
His former friends
Must watch him die.

That stranger
Smooth as he could be
Convinced the crowd
That it was he
The child lay there
For all to see
As they bound him
‘neath the hanging tree.

Warmed by the sun’s
First morning ray
Why did he have
To die this way
His friends
Like hungry lions at play
Would tear him
Limb from limb this day.

He wonders
What they’ll tell his son
When they realize
What they have done
For D.N.A
Will prove them wrong
But by then the stranger
Will be gone............ The Anointed/

The Anointed 23-09-2021 05:55 AM

OLD TIMERS

Here you go old mate, ”I’m buying”
Can’t have you sitting here and crying
Have a beer and tell me why you look so sad
Hell, you must be nigh on eighty
Have another drink old matey
Lighten up a bit, things can’t be all that bad.

You said you just got married
To a girl of thirty three
And last night it was your honeymoon
You was as happy as could be
In the cot she was a demon
And she could cook a mighty feed.

So what’s your flamin problem mate?
You’ve got more than most men need
If I could have what you got now
A thousand quid------ I’d give

Hey mate he said, “I’m ----- crying
Cos I’ve forgotten where I live”..... The Anointed

The Anointed 24-09-2021 04:51 AM

THE CROC SLIDE

Did I tell you ‘bout me father? He took us fishing way out west
He loved to catch them Barras and reckons western creeks are best
We was fishing on the Flinders in the drought when banks are steep
And the waterholes remaining were muddy dark and deep

Dad was fishing by the waters edge with his foot against a rock
When that waterhole explodes old mate, a ten foot flaming croc
Well me dad he’s flying backwards, his bum cheeks working like his feet
While that croc keeps lunging at him, then sliding back into the creek

When he finally got to safety with the bum worn from his strides
He just sat wild eyed and staring, his fear he couldn’t hide
And me? I couldn’t say a word, me mouth was locked up in a grin
The smell and colour of that water, told, what the croc was sliding in ….The Anointed

The Anointed 24-09-2021 10:35 AM

THE STOLEN BIKE

Preaching from the pulpit
Was a local parish priest
A Parson by the name of Patrick Sykes
And he preached a fiery sermon
He was absolutely sure
Someone in the congregation stole his bike
Going through the Ten Commandments
And having said, “Thou shalt not steal”
He looked around to find the guilty face
But all were pure as angels
No one even blushed
There weren’t a guilty person in the place
So he had to keep on going
Though he knew he’d lost his bike
And when he finally said
“Adultery is sin”
The sermon stopped abruptly
And as calmly as you like
He said,
“ I just remembered where I left the bluudy ting.” ..... The Anointed.

The Anointed 25-09-2021 01:12 AM

AN ILL WIND
I found the place where wild winds go to breed and then to rest
Where women winds all whirl and swirl while tending to their nest
There the bitter biting blizzard wind of monkey’s brass balls fame
Bore twenty torrential breezes to the mighty hurricane
And there the mother of all cyclones, mated with the thunder storm
And ten tiny twirling twisters from her stormy womb were born.
While way out in the distance, where the misfits congregate
The ill wind who blows no one no good, was there with her old mate
The political wind in labour, who let out a plaintive call
Then gave birth to six state premiers, the greatest blowhards of them all.
The Anointed,

The Anointed 25-09-2021 04:41 AM

B]THE DUSTS OF TIME[/b]

Ah! The droving days are over
And no more will we see
The dusty pads worn deep by droving teams
They’ve long ago been blown away
By scorching western winds
And big mobs on the move, are now but dreams.

Men such as Arthur Hollins
Walter Cowan and Jack swan
Old drovers names blazed on the trees of time
Yet I somehow seem to see them
Shadowy figures on the plains
With the dust clouds of the cattle close behind.

As I read and hear the stories
Of these legends from the past
On stock routes now forgotten I would ride
A star studded roof above me
Blazing from a moonless sky
By a camp fire near a river dry and wide.

Just to be there with those men of iron
And round the camp-fire hear their yarns
Firelight dancing on their rough and weathered skin
To share their whole existence
Their good times and their bad
Droving on the outback stock-routes once agin.

Along the beef roads and the highways
Of this unforgiving land
The rough diamonds now are driving cattle trains
AH, we must accept the world is changing
But my heart aches deep inside
For the droving days will not be seen again..... The Anointed

The Anointed 26-09-2021 04:33 AM

THE BIRD IN THE SNOW
It was late, too late, the snows were here and all the birds had gone
They’d heeded natures warnings and had flown to countries warm
But one young bird, for reasons that cannot be explained
Left her departure far too late, now with cold blood in her veins
Her wings were beating feebly, the ice and snow had chilled her through
And although she struggled gamely, she couldn’t make it, I think she knew
As down she came in an open field of grass and snow and slush
And as she lay there freezing, there came a sudden rush
Of steaming hot manure, from a bull which grazed that ground
And it covered her completely, for awhile she thought she’d drown
Then calling on some hidden strength, she fought to struggle free
With head exposed she gasped for air, sweet air fresh and clear
Within that warm moist mound she lay, until her strength returned
Her little heart was pumping fast, as she chirped her species tune
When an old tom cat who worked that patch, heard her song of joy
And he dug her up and ate her, now she’ll sing her songs no more
So next time someone poops on you, they may just be your friend
While the one who tries to get you out, could be doing it--- for evil ends.

The Anointed,

Nowayout 26-09-2021 04:39 AM

Ok, let the bells ring
I have a friend.

What poop may come?

Thank you, falling leaves. Lol.

Idiot wind.

The Anointed 27-09-2021 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nowayout
Ok, let the bells ring
I have a friend.

What poop may come?

Thank you, falling leaves. Lol.

Idiot wind.


Why have you come here, into my thread
Tell me my friend, what was in your head
Did you come over here, simply to boast
Or like a seagull, just to poop on my post?

The Anointed 28-09-2021 10:13 AM

An introduction to those who came to hear our poems of war.

I’m here to thank all those who came
To hear the poems and all our yarns
Now settle back, enjoy this spell
While we take you on a ride through hell.
Through war, where Satan’s angels sing,
You’ll see pictures drawn by a poet’s pen
Of busted torn and twisted things
That once we knew as our young men.

And though we weep for those who died;
Who rest among God’s hosts on high,
It’s those who came through hell alive
For them we weep, my friends and I.
Those tortured souls who sweat at night
Who toss and turn and wake in fright,
With trembling hands that spill the rum—
Then drink until their brains grow numb.

Or the loved ones of our gallant sons
Whose blood was shed for everyone.
The wives, the children, for these we cry:
For the mums who felt their young boys die.
T’was not in vain that they gave birth
And offered up for peace on earth
Their sons, whose blood has set us free
Who will ever live in our memory…… The Anointed.

The Anointed 01-10-2021 01:58 AM

In this poem I take a man to hell and then I bring him out
Through the ancient gate called Erubus which I’m sure you know about
Cos it’s there in Greek mythology, the dark passage of which they tell
That the souls of the Damned must pass through on their way to eternal hell
But there’s also an old volcano in Antarctica way down south
And that old extinct volcano is called also Erubus.

Unfortunately the word (PEE) does not rhyme with the word Bliss, but we’re forbidden to use the rhyming word for ‘BLISS’

Even when the man was dyin’ not a single soul was cryin’
They were actually glad to see the last of him
Cos he had this rare condition couldn’t stop himself from (peein’)
He’d accidentally (pee) on everything.

And cos that man had never sinned Saint Peter would’ve let him in
Till he started (peeing) on the Pearly Gates
And when Peter warned that he should stop he turned and guess who copped the lot
Which made him pretty mad I tell you mates

Soakin’ wet and fairly spewin’, Saint Peter swore that he would sue him
So he called upon the angel Gabriel
But this advice the angel give him “We can’t sue this man in heaven
Cos there ain’t no lawyers here, their all in hell”

And though he begged to be forgiven they wouldn’t let him into heaven
And they slammed the Pearly Gates in front of him
T’was then that Peter turned and hollered “When hell has frozen solid
Then and only then will you get in!”

So Satan said, “Well, seems he’s ours and cos he comes from Charters Towers
Where the summer days are bloody hot as well
He’ll soon adjust to our conditions and should enjoy his new position
As the official rider of the horse from hell.”

Now that horse was black as night with eyes that shone like fire light
He once travelled in the show with Delahuntie
The Black Angel was his name and if you ain’t seen him it’s a shame
He was the greatest buckin’ horse in this damned country

And there weren’t a soul in hell could ride him, even Satan once had tried him
But they found him with his horns stuck in the roof
And more than one of his disciples were shot like bullets from a rifle
While being branded by the imprint of his hoof

Now this man who stood beside him knew, if he was gonna ride him
He’d need more than just a little bit of luck
If he weren’t glued into that saddle he’d be up the creek without a paddle
Cos he’d seen this horse of Delahunties buck

So having super glued his jeans he then wiped that saddle clean
He weren’t gonna leave a single thing to chance
Cos if he weren’t securely stuck before that horse began to buck
He could kiss goodbye to everything he’d planned

You see, he’d saved himself all week never even had a leak
And this was now the last day out of seven
And if he could (pee) hell’s fires out then there wasn’t any doubt
They’d have to let him back up there in heaven

Then quicker than a Jumping Jack he leapt upon that horse’s back
And for a moment it was stunned and didn’t move
Which gave the glue just time to set before he reared and arched his neck
Then I tell you mates all bloody hell broke loose

Through the (pee) and all the fire that horse bucked ever higher
He corkscrewed and twisted round and round
Then the cheering tortured souls watched him do the Western Roll
As he hung that flamin’ rider upside down

And all the while that man kept (peein’) molten rocks began a hissin’
Then exploded in an awesome cloud of steam
And throughout the crypts of hell the captive souls all cheered and yelled
As they watched the greatest show they’d ever seen

While the horse was fairly rootin’ that man on top kept right on shootin’
And when he (peed) upon the angels of the night
There came horrific tortured screams as the demons turned to steam
Then shrivelled up and vanished out of sight

In and out of all those caverns in his bid to get to heaven
He (peed) on every fire in hell he saw
Then he spurred that horse on stronger cos he couldn’t last much longer
He weren’t endless - like some great artesian bore

Then just like that the fires were out and with a loud triumphant shout
He charged on through the acrid urine smoke
But Queensland horses don’t give up and with one last tremendous buck
The girth strap underneath him finally broke

Fifty feet into the air and you won’t believe this but I swear
Above him was an old volcano plug
And at the speed that he was goin’ there weren’t no flamin chance of slowin’
And he slammed into it - with a mighty thud

Tons and tons of rock he shifted as that plug was fairly lifted
And exploded out just like a blunderbuss
The ancient gates to hell were opened and huge blocks of ice were droppin’
Down the crater of that mountain Erebus

And on its rim that man sat straddled still glued into his saddle
When a freakish blizzard then began to blow
Swirling down the open hole blew that blizzard freezing cold
With ice and sleet, his saddle, and tons of snow

Now in his triumphant march to heaven his bare bum was bruised and bleedin’
One would swear someone had flogged him with a paddle
But we all know t’was from the horse and his jeans? - well, them of course
They’re still down there in hell glued to the saddle

And though he can’t control his (pee) his life in heaven now is bliss
Cos God created for him there a new position
So when the rivers are in flood and you’re trudgin’ through the mud
Just blame that man up there who can’t stop (peein’)...... The Anointed.

Isn't it funny, I could say he urinated behind the tree, I could even say that he peed behind the tree, and it would be acceptable, but the word that rhymes with bliss is apparently offensive to some, even though it calls up the same mental image as the other two words. Ah well, ours is not to wonder why, ours is but to do or die,


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