Ok, let the bells ring
I have a friend.
What poop may come?
Thank you, falling leaves. Lol.
Why have you come here, into my thread
Tell me my friend, what was in your head
Did you come over here, simply to boast
Or like a seagull, just to poop on my post?
An introduction to those who came to hear our poems of war.
I’m here to thank all those who came
To hear the poems and all our yarns
Now settle back, enjoy this spell
While we take you on a ride through hell.
Through war, where Satan’s angels sing,
You’ll see pictures drawn by a poet’s pen
Of busted torn and twisted things
That once we knew as our young men.
And though we weep for those who died;
Who rest among God’s hosts on high,
It’s those who came through hell alive
For them we weep, my friends and I.
Those tortured souls who sweat at night
Who toss and turn and wake in fright,
With trembling hands that spill the rum—
Then drink until their brains grow numb.
Or the loved ones of our gallant sons
Whose blood was shed for everyone.
The wives, the children, for these we cry:
For the mums who felt their young boys die.
T’was not in vain that they gave birth
And offered up for peace on earth
Their sons, whose blood has set us free
Who will ever live in our memory…… The Anointed.
In this poem I take a man to hell and then I bring him out
Through the ancient gate called Erubus which I’m sure you know about
Cos it’s there in Greek mythology, the dark passage of which they tell
That the souls of the Damned must pass through on their way to eternal hell
But there’s also an old volcano in Antarctica way down south
And that old extinct volcano is called also Erubus.
Unfortunately the word (PEE) does not rhyme with the word Bliss, but we’re forbidden to use the rhyming word for ‘BLISS’
Even when the man was dyin’ not a single soul was cryin’
They were actually glad to see the last of him
Cos he had this rare condition couldn’t stop himself from (peein’)
He’d accidentally (pee) on everything.
And cos that man had never sinned Saint Peter would’ve let him in
Till he started (peeing) on the Pearly Gates
And when Peter warned that he should stop he turned and guess who copped the lot
Which made him pretty mad I tell you mates
Soakin’ wet and fairly spewin’, Saint Peter swore that he would sue him
So he called upon the angel Gabriel
But this advice the angel give him “We can’t sue this man in heaven
Cos there ain’t no lawyers here, their all in hell”
And though he begged to be forgiven they wouldn’t let him into heaven
And they slammed the Pearly Gates in front of him
T’was then that Peter turned and hollered “When hell has frozen solid
Then and only then will you get in!”
So Satan said, “Well, seems he’s ours and cos he comes from Charters Towers
Where the summer days are bloody hot as well
He’ll soon adjust to our conditions and should enjoy his new position
As the official rider of the horse from hell.”
Now that horse was black as night with eyes that shone like fire light
He once travelled in the show with Delahuntie
The Black Angel was his name and if you ain’t seen him it’s a shame
He was the greatest buckin’ horse in this damned country
And there weren’t a soul in hell could ride him, even Satan once had tried him
But they found him with his horns stuck in the roof
And more than one of his disciples were shot like bullets from a rifle
While being branded by the imprint of his hoof
Now this man who stood beside him knew, if he was gonna ride him
He’d need more than just a little bit of luck
If he weren’t glued into that saddle he’d be up the creek without a paddle
Cos he’d seen this horse of Delahunties buck
So having super glued his jeans he then wiped that saddle clean
He weren’t gonna leave a single thing to chance
Cos if he weren’t securely stuck before that horse began to buck
He could kiss goodbye to everything he’d planned
You see, he’d saved himself all week never even had a leak
And this was now the last day out of seven
And if he could (pee) hell’s fires out then there wasn’t any doubt
They’d have to let him back up there in heaven
Then quicker than a Jumping Jack he leapt upon that horse’s back
And for a moment it was stunned and didn’t move
Which gave the glue just time to set before he reared and arched his neck
Then I tell you mates all bloody hell broke loose
Through the (pee) and all the fire that horse bucked ever higher
He corkscrewed and twisted round and round
Then the cheering tortured souls watched him do the Western Roll
As he hung that flamin’ rider upside down
And all the while that man kept (peein’) molten rocks began a hissin’
Then exploded in an awesome cloud of steam
And throughout the crypts of hell the captive souls all cheered and yelled
As they watched the greatest show they’d ever seen
While the horse was fairly rootin’ that man on top kept right on shootin’
And when he (peed) upon the angels of the night
There came horrific tortured screams as the demons turned to steam
Then shrivelled up and vanished out of sight
In and out of all those caverns in his bid to get to heaven
He (peed) on every fire in hell he saw
Then he spurred that horse on stronger cos he couldn’t last much longer
He weren’t endless - like some great artesian bore
Then just like that the fires were out and with a loud triumphant shout
He charged on through the acrid urine smoke
But Queensland horses don’t give up and with one last tremendous buck
The girth strap underneath him finally broke
Fifty feet into the air and you won’t believe this but I swear
Above him was an old volcano plug
And at the speed that he was goin’ there weren’t no flamin chance of slowin’
And he slammed into it - with a mighty thud
Tons and tons of rock he shifted as that plug was fairly lifted
And exploded out just like a blunderbuss
The ancient gates to hell were opened and huge blocks of ice were droppin’
Down the crater of that mountain Erebus
And on its rim that man sat straddled still glued into his saddle
When a freakish blizzard then began to blow
Swirling down the open hole blew that blizzard freezing cold
With ice and sleet, his saddle, and tons of snow
Now in his triumphant march to heaven his bare bum was bruised and bleedin’
One would swear someone had flogged him with a paddle
But we all know t’was from the horse and his jeans? - well, them of course
They’re still down there in hell glued to the saddle
And though he can’t control his (pee) his life in heaven now is bliss
Cos God created for him there a new position
So when the rivers are in flood and you’re trudgin’ through the mud
Just blame that man up there who can’t stop (peein’)...... The Anointed.
Isn't it funny, I could say he urinated behind the tree, I could even say that he peed behind the tree, and it would be acceptable, but the word that rhymes with bliss is apparently offensive to some, even though it calls up the same mental image as the other two words. Ah well, ours is not to wonder why, ours is but to do or die,
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