Past Life "Shadow Self"
 

Does anyone one else here have experience with digging into past lives and discovering that they have had been a very bad person/people?

I have been plagued by misfortune for much of my life, and as I have confronted past life and ancestral issues I have seen vast improvement. But one in particular, a past life, has me nearly in paroxysms.

This one was so bad I am nearly in shock. The things I had done are so against everything I care about and stand for, and so incredibly horrible, that I cannot even process it and I have been nearly in a daze for a couple days.

In a way it has brought me comfort as I know understand that world and spirit are loving and magnanimous, whereas before I was torn up because I did not understand why I had such misfortune.

But I am also deeply hurt by this revelation. I feel as if my very existence is a crime.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

I thought the opposite was true when people 'discover' these things.

I am not sure what you mean, Kundalini Kid, but I would ask you or anyone else who does not either have an experience to share or constructive advice/words to refrain from posting.

I don’t really have much advice, but if it’s any consolation, you’re not that person anymore. Literally. You seem to be a good person.

oh yes. I have two past lives in which I did bad things, in one very very bad things and I harmed many (I wont even talk about that one. I had special abilities and abused those in the worst way possible, beyond horrific).

The one I can speak about... I think my daughter was born disabled this life time cause of what I did to her in our other life. I remember I abused her along with this other (my partner at that time, daughter this lifetime was a child we took in in the other life, we took in orphaned, abandoned, unwanted children). Our abuse (in all ways) and neglect it lead to her death. She was only about 3 years old and we buried her in the back garden.

Fortunately I am spiritually developed enough so to not have that knowledge deeply affect me, the memories I carry otherwise could of destroyed me but I know how to love and love myself so I'm not in shame or self blaming. So I can deal with this. (this kind of thing is why no-one should be trying to gain past life knowledge before they are ready to do so, it can really harm someone.. you will remember naturally when the time is right. Stay away from things like past life regression, it has mentally destroyed people.. I know of a case where that happened).

When I remembered this past life of ours, it actually helped some of the pain I carried this lifetime as this lifetime she hates me!! so remembering this past life I now know why she has such strong dislike towards me (I don't know if she consciously remembers the other past life too as we have not spoken about it), which before this knowledge I just could not understand as in this life there was no reason for it, she has always this life been treated very well.

I have constant bad luck.. I mean major bad luck to the point that others around me even start saying they think I'm cursed. I either have been cursed (I wonder if my daughter herself has cursed me) or I'm trying to work though a ton of bad karma from other lives (fortunately out of the about 32 lifetimes I remember parts of, I only remember being a very bad person in two of them but killing vulnerable innocent people never goes down well karmically).

..........

Irronically my other daughter, she killed me in a lifetime, I was sacrificed on a stone table like she did also to many others as part of a ritual offering. She also remembers doing it to me and one of her friends remembers being killed by her too in the same lifetime in the same way.

So I guess all this stuff isn't all that uncommon. More people were killed by others back in the past. https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/h...ime=1300..2016

How did you find out about your past life? Regression, meditation, dream, ...?

I practice shamanism. I went on a shamanic journey and it was revealed to me by my ancestors, and one of my helping spirits.

Sea dove, I thank you for your response. It brought me some comfort.

Thanks. Probably it was you I've recently asked about that on another thread, and as a result I looked up "shamanism" and watched a shamanism video on youtube.

What we feel about our past-life-selves depends on our system of beliefs.

In my system of beliefs, all those past-life-selves share a common inner-self, and each personality (incarnation) also has individual subconscious and outer-self (conscious).

The perpetrator of those actions you disapprove of isn't the current you that posts on this board.

Another point is that your entity (including its unique inner-self) isn't more responsible for the misbehavior of its personalities than you are for whatever you do in one of your nightmares. ... Or, than a mistake you make in a lab at school.

I don't worry about my deeds in my past lives. The good I draw from finding out of them is when I feel like I can make some sense of some situations in my current life, as you seem to have done, but that isn't really essential.

What is essential is what I do about my current life now, and about the things I would rather not have in it.

My thoughts, feelings, and beliefs create thought-forms that materialize into situations in my current life and in other lives too (it is likely that this influence extends over both what we call past-lives, and future-lives, but that's another discussion).

It is important to understand that negative thoughts and feelings now, at conscious and subconscious level, materialize in situations that perpetuate similar thoughts and feelings.

Unfortunately, this means that fear, anger, hate, disappointment, and such will materialize into other situations that will perpetuate them, or in kind.

The solution is to assertively stay away from the thoughts we don't want to re-experience. Not easy, but doable.

There are some seemingly positive thoughts and feelings that we have to be careful with too, both because they may be painful (e.g. compassion, and you don't want more occasions to feel compassion), and because they have hidden in them the seed of their dual negative correspondent (e.g. love has the seed of fear of loss of love, and you don't want to bring the loss of love into your life).

Bottom line, don't wallow either in self-pity, or in compassion for others' suffering, but assertively think thoughts that would materialize situations that you would like to experience!

Yes, I had a very bad lifetime as a Nordic warrior. We raped and pillaged other villages across the waters. But it isn't about right or wrong. It's about progressing and learning. Of trying everything and when we finally get to a point we turn away from the dark side.

This is school. And just as you needed to hurt others to learn, so others needed the lessons of being hurt.

This lifetime I was hurt a lot when I was younger. Lol, I'd say overkill on being hurt. But I made it through and now have a better understanding of the whole picture in the here and now.

Some might call what I went through Karma, I call learning from the opposite direction. Learning from the abuser's perspective and then learning from the abused's perspective.