Spiritual Forums - Help me learn to trust?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madhuri

I also feel like I’m being tested for the way I used to talk about the importance of forgiveness, how everyone is doing the best they can, and how, if this is true, we shouldn’t wish punishment on anyone. I still believe that when I can really think about it, but then I get angry and it all goes out the window, and I’m like, “yes, I’d like to order one plague of locusts, please?” I don’t mean it, and it’s not helpful, and I’m joking about it now, but at the time I’m serious and that’s an ugly thing to see in myself. I just feel like my old ways of seeing the world are failing me and I don’t know what to replace it with.

I can relate to this a bit. I have gone through forgiving everything as far as I could.
Eventually a limit was reached for me when I noticed that the person I forgave and was
continuing to forgive actually saw it as weakness in some way and kept actually prodding me for
response, as if testing to see if I really wanted to get along (for years). Knowing I am a sensitive
person. Not caring.

So I forgive this person now on condition that I don't see or interact with them again.
I did my best, to my limit. The last conversation I had with them and their last bit of nastiness, I
was calm with the feeling inside that this will be the last conversation.
When a person does not want to believe that life can be better (their choice, but wants to
drag others down) then that is my limit. I have to stay away for my own sake.