Hi Sweetie!
 

I guess we can't talk
any more
now
that our site
has burned to the ground

too bad...

well now
I dream about 'her'
sometimes

she's halfway believable
unlike you ever were
lol

well I would take you up
on your olive branch
if it hadn't turned into
a carrot and stick
schtick
last time I tried

it hurt
really really badly
to be so out on a limb
only to be rejected
and I don't really
trust you
after that
and
after
everything else

sad to say

but speaking of 'her'
another halfway believable thing
they told me
is that at a certain age
we would meet again

and we are coming close to that
so I guess we will see

But I don't know
if she is any more
believable
than you ever were

although I suppose
it worked
in other times and places

anyway I do know
I'm going to her town
for a second time
this fall

despite the fact that traveling
is such a chore

last time I really liked it though
I hope the charm hasn't worn off...

more ganging up
on a me

another 'intervention'

why are people so unkind?

this is never going to end
===============================
you asked for help
but i can't
or maybe I won't.
===============================
another name given
oh so obliquely
really had to work for it...
probably shouldn't have cared...

But I'm so tired of oblique
why can't anyone
ever just say what they mean?

but I suppose I don't either
been beat up too many times
just for being honest
and now I'm gunshy too.

which is why
I just shut up
and won't share
any time
people are ganging up on me.

anyway,
I'm back where I started
people (you girls)
are just too mean
and nothing can ever work out
in a life like this.

I barely feel able
to continue.

(tears)

***

As the shining radiance
In carefree dalliance
We neither seek response
Nor are affected by looks askance
We just impulsively share
With one & all who choose to pair
In an outpouring loving
Unceasing

***

Receiving in so many ways
The meeting coming round
To meet yourself in those her’s
While you cry and frown
You receive in time you’ll see
But first it’s all about ‘me’
A lesson in receiving given
So you learn to always be
Aware your more than you see

let us get loud on Hi Sweetie!
and see where that leads us.

does not mean being or doing
anything, could mean something
special.

hi guys!

(shyly) thank you for posting!

hi sweetie!

not much
to say

words
not coming?

for a while now.

but
I just wanted to say

'hi'

***

The rhythmic breath
if observed
becomes erratic
being self conscious

Pure love outpouring
unthinking & non calculating
it’s childlike embrace
is spontaneous

***

Hi
Holds so many meanings
Comes with so many unspoken expectations
Starts so many possibilities
Launches so many interchanges
Begins every relationship
Yet...
Ends with all when unreciprocated

Hi Falling! :hug3:

there is a song
'what about us'

wherein a bunch of people
basically complain
about someone
who was only trying to help

because they felt hurt

I always find such things ironic
because
the people
making these kinds of complaints
will never look at themselves
and see just exactly
what kind of pain
they have caused
to others
who often have no voice

and who have to just sit there
taking whatever untold meanness
mean minds can create
while dieing inside
little by little
day by day.

sweetie,

our time is done.

I needed to know what to expect
and all I got
for an answer
was
'you're not allowed to expect anything'.

And I had so many other questions
that I asked
and all of them came back to
'no, you can't'.

and when I wasn't being told 'no'
I was being ridiculed.

Or sometimes worse.

So our time is done.

besides
I'm tired
of you always having someone kill me.

besides
I'm tired
of the way you treat me.

Or should I say
mistreat me?

asjdfk;lasjdfl

so inspiring....thanks

Couldn't agree more :icon_thumleft:

Hi Falling
I have to admire
Your innovated ways
To express your thoughts
Yeah..
Do not suppress
Your feelings
Healthy outbursts
Encouraging.
:hug2:

I am glad that you are ok and still around. :wink:

Hi Sweetie, have a happy holidays!

hi sweetie

bye sweetie

thinking of you
wistfully...
---------------------------------------
well I know
this will fall
on deaf ears
but

I suppose you really don't know.

It is easy
for you to sit there
and call me a coward,
and so many other ungracious names
like you have
for so many years now

but the truth about cowardice
as about so many other things
is that inasmuch
as I would love
to just sit here
quivering in fear
and not doing much of anything
not taking chances
not waiting for another tree to fall
not waiting for the next insult to be hurled
not waiting for the next betrayal
not waiting for someone new
to find a novel way
to hurt a me

just kinda going away
and not playing
this stupid
energizer bunny game

the truth is
I spend a lot of time
doing gut-wrenching things
taking chances
that often
make me fear for my own life
and often leave me
in a great deal of pain.

I sometimes hate myself for that.

And there is never any thanks in it,
other than
for someone to tell me
I'm not doing enough
Its not good enough
I'm not good enough
I need to improve and make it even better
If I only I were a better person
Then I could be loved.

For which prodding
I always
go back and do
something
even worse to myself
in the hopes
it will somehow be different
this time.

But always the same results appear.

Love is always sometime in the future...
Attainment never comes.
-------------------------------------------------------------
But I suppose I knew, coming in
there wouldn't be anything
here
for a me.

I was so sad the day I realized that.

Girls would just be mean
to a me
For all my days.

I just wish
I hadn't believed it
when they promised me
it would somehow be different
this time.

Had remembered
that promises
to a me
are never kept.

But I suppose
punishments won't take
if I can avoid them.

Sigh.
---------------------------------------
Merry xmas.

more with the
hurt him
for his own good.

I get so tired of eating that
all the time.

It seems like
it is the only food
you know how to make.

If you will excuse me
I'm going to go off and cry now.

he did figure out
that what he can think to want
can't really
come to pass.

It isn't fair
to anyone
really
let alone you.

in his saner moments,
he is able
to acknowledge that.

no matter how
he might think
you've slighted him
all these years,
there are still some things
that just can't come to be

but at the same time
he doesn't want
to hit
'rewind, replay'
to what went on before.

sigh.

***

Fleeting forms
What is reality
Divine love warm
Pulsates in continuity

***

i'm not sure
I'm liking
this recent trip
I'm taking
down memory lane.

Last nights trip into the forest
was vexing
to say the least
but I had forgotten
exactly how awful
my time with you
really was
so I guess it was for the best.

I guess though I'm still silly
should I repeat
what I did before
with the insane idea
that the result could be different
even though that never ever works?

Or should I
just cut and run.

My head hurts.

Sigh.

Hi Sweetie!

(shyly) Merry Christmas.

Hi sweetie!

all this talk
of death
should have me
shaking in my boots
I suppose

but
I don't really care
if I'm dead I'm dead
good riddance!
(probably)

Not that I sometimes
wouldn't like
it to be just that way
although...

well anyways
after browsing some posts
herein
I read
the unlucky chapter
in corinthians
again

and some other stuff
and thought
I might like to try
my hand at it

you know
you not wanting me
and all
I have to have
SOMETHING
to do with my time
lol

But it seems very hard
even not to be irritable
so I got discouraged
almost immediately

I may try
just a little bit
although
even though
they say
it is a good thing
I really don't know
good from bad
any more

it is all kidna hzy

But I do know
the rules are the rules
and I try to follow them now.

something about a yellow brick road?

by the way
the only reason
I'm so quiet
nowadays
is
it came across my desk
you think me quite the nag.

So I thought
I would give you the gift
of being quiet towards you.

Happy holiday! Falling
I wish you a much happier 2020
Filled with laughters and love

Hi Z!

I'm not really upset about anything right now, things are kinda leveling out a bit I guess lol! For the moment at least I seem to have figured out not to deliberately touch the electric fence :smile:

hope you are having a happy holidays!

feeling despondent
got struck
in the heart
by someone
who never cared
I was so wrong
sigh.

meanwhile
trying to avoid
this new person
who promised
to bring me
more schizophrenic nightmares.

maybe I'll go cry.

well
not being
too fanciful
right now

didn't expect
more than was there

well anyway
I don't talk about certain things
any more

but regardless
I'm having a good time with the things
that I've loved to do
since I met you

meanwhile
all this talk of celebrities
has me bored

one I was with in another time
but she was about a bit this one
as another person
than as her celebrity self
I just figure
she is like a memory

which I suppose is ok
since everyone says
she is a floozy anyway?

Not that I wouild know...

another came literally
marching into my dreams
when my last flame
'died'
for a me

and stuck around a while

and the third I've had no contact with
just a name
on a big silver screen.

I think
there are
Too many things
I've gotten too lame about
with fanciful thoughts
but it doesn't really matter any more.

and then there is you

I suppose
I should disbelieve
this 'second coming'
as just another farce

but I'm having fun
not taking it
too seriously
regardless.

Trips to the forest aside...

Are these meant to be poems? :confused:

I've had enough
I guess
endless meanness
and meanwhile
I have no clue
how
a relationship could work
what with you
and the endless meanness
all the time

I mean
I don't think it could.
Not with you
Not with anyone.

Because
everyone cares
only for themselves
and never for me.

Guess I am going on alone.
again.

heya sweetie

I was wondering,
if you are so mean to a me
because I am so mean
to a you?

But then I
I had to be fair
you started it...

I can't take the blame
for everything here.

still I wonder
if I shouldn't
get off this merry go round.

On the other hand
maybe I was right
the first time
and you just like being mean.

hi sweetie

decided
not
to take you up
on your latest hilarity

well
I guess
now
all I get to do
is
I have to wait
for the dreaded words...

'if only you had waited a little longer
it would have been all right.
but you didn't,
and now it is too late'

in tears at the end
then sobbing hysterically in a car
I knew I would miss that one
I didn't know how much.

being told
that I have to improve
or be a better person
in any way
is just irksome.

Because if I do that work
you will take the credit
for talking me into it
and leave me still out in the cold.

Personally
it makes more sense
to self destruct
than take that from someone
who is supposed to care about
what I might feel.

ok
so
maybe that wasn't fair

Sometimes
I just get tired
of being told
what an awful person I am
and I should change
for your sake
not for mine

I guess though
I should learn my lesson
that such from you
isn't a bad thing
least of which
because it means
we cannot be together

but more because
having things my own way
has just sucked
anyway

Sorry if it's not my place to jump in, but I don't sense you are awful, quite the opposite actually.

Yes. Reading your stuff is nice and I am angry about toe knees post at the top of this page, I’ve been considering asking a mod to delete it but it,s not my place. It was baseless negativity.

thanks guys, it is nice to have some positive feedback :hug2: