Spiritual Forums - Hi everyone

Hello! I’m Toyuki.

This is my first time using a forum. I’m pretty shy and private about myself, but I never found anyone in person who understands and experienced what I’m going through. Because of that, I feel like I’m crazy.

I think my spiritual journey began 3 years ago, a couple months after I met my fiancé. After that, some really strange, and sometimes really scary things started to happen. It began on a night when I meditated, and I saw some unfamiliar, almost strange buildings,houses, and a family I never met before. Long story short, I remembered my past life. I had a very short life in Hiroshima where I died a terribly painful, frightening death at 16 years old, 2 weeks after the atomic bomb was dropped. The worst part is that the memories came flooding during my daily life, where something I heard or saw would just bring me to cry hysterically. I still can’t watch movies about war because the sound of guns and screaming is triggering, or some songs from the 1940’s, despite really loving the music. And even though Hiroshima has a special place in my heart, I can’t stay there long because it reminds me of the foul smell of death, and how my life was stolen from me.

After then, some things in my house started being manipulated on their own. Heavy doors would slam loudly with the windows closed, and while I was asleep with my computer closed, someone would open a new tab on google and search the number “0”. I think they pressed 0 for several minutes because the amount of 0’s in the search bar was ridiculous and it would take me several minutes to erase everything if I pressed the backspace button. Sometimes, in my dreams, someone would show me zeros and then make me feel loved... like a non- physical embrace? Not sure how to explain it. But it was crazy scary to open my computer and see that every time. It was all so scary that I reached out to a nearby church and asked if they do any exorcisms, and I’m not Christian.

Then a couple months ago, a couple months after the new memories from Hiroshima stopped, while meditating, I saw myself on a beautiful planet, with nature untouched, and the sky had a pink planet on the left, and a slightly larger sun-like star on the right. I had a light body that was yellow on the outside, blue on the middle layer, and white on the inner layer. My body felt like some vibrating hologram, that almost felt like a semi permeable membrane? I’m not sure. I was gathered around several beings like me, and 2 others that were light brown colored with very long fingers and high cheekbones. We were about to go to earth, and the two brown beings, one who wore a blue gown, and the other with a purple one. They guided us on our journey, where one of us at a time laid down, and cut our energy source to leave our planet. After seeing this, I looked up those planets, and it turns out that the pink planet was discovered in 2018 by NASA in the constellation of Virgo. A few more meditations and memories after, and I realized that I am from spica.

I’m currently going through the night of the soul now, where all the trauma I suppressed throughout my life is coming out... like vomit. I also completely changed my whole life in 2 weeks a month ago, when I fled my parents’ house when my heart was starting to have problems, and I had to figure everything out while I was homeless in a motel for 2 weeks. I’m trying to embrace my strangeness more, even if some people avert from it, because I think my energy makes some people uncomfortable, while others are entranced. I also have a strong sixth sense and it’s difficult to completely hide it, so my best friend is my pet rabbit. It feels wonderful to converse by thought, rather than language that acts like a barrier, blocking the true thought and intention to the source, sometimes leading to a misunderstanding.

Right now, I’m applying to different universities to complete my first degree. I’m a neuroscience major that wants to research the brain’s function in a spiritual experience, initially via an fMRI. I want to create a more fluid, entwined version of science, rather than how everything is so pigeon-holed now. My unconventional view on current science makes some professors at my college uncomfortable, I think, which is why I want to transfer somewhere where people like me, who think a little different, would be appreciated, rather than shamed. On my dark night, I’m trying to gain more confidence in myself and ignore the people who think I’m strange or crazy so I can believe in myself.

I’m here so I can meet people like me, and we can share our experience together! I want to find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in my path.

Sorry for the long post! I don’t know what parts to leave out. Thank you for reading, and I hope we can be friends. :hug3: