The Master of Hiding
 

The Master of Hiding

I’m the master of hiding my friend
You’ll never know where I start and I end
Too many years covering up what I feel
Now just a reflex unable to heal
Behind this cloak, protector, my shield
My feelings hide left never to yield
A lifetime of learning my craft
You can cry, you can scream, but I won’t cry or laugh

I’m your brother, your father, your friend
Love too much, not enough, and pretend
All alone in a large, crowded room
Stuck in my head with the things I assume
Feeling battered, beaten, torn down
You’ll never know as I polish my crown
So deceitful in who I really am
Tears me apart while I don’t give a damn

It starts out with some practice to heal
But after a while it’s just harder to feel
No intent with a path that seemed clear
The years roll by and you’re suddenly here
Heed my warning my loves in my life
Never hide, bare your soul, face the strife
Only to heal if you’re free and let go
Covering up only buries your soul

I’m the master of hiding
How did I get here
Emotionally dying
In pain and despair
Laughing while crying

Please…No more masters of hiding
Let yourself feel what you feel
No more masters of hiding
No more masters of hiding

You are so right.
Sometimes the biggest challenge can be finding yourself.

Sometmes?:D

A very valid point Miss Hepburn. I think I was being a bit polite rather than completely honest. We are all on the path of finding ourselves. Our subconscious mind can be a great asset or at times keep us from completely seeing ourselves, which is some of what this speaks to.

im trying to learn
to feel what i feel
instead of supposing
i should feel something else

it is hard going though

and neither does it mean
I'm going to completely emote
whatever it is
I do feel
either
----------------------------------------------------------------------
anyway
in other news
I also decided
my tendency
to try to entice others
to feel something
other than what THEY feel
is just as much hogwash
as when I do it to myself...

another hard path to follow...

slow footsteps...

Hang in there my friend.
It took a lot of years for me to recognize I was relating to people based on things early in life that had a profound impact I didn't see. It went unrecognized because so much was being dealt with within me on a subconscious level. Once it was finally brought to light, it was like a vale was lifted and I found it to be quite astounding that I hadn't recognized it before. But the recognition doesn't heal deep-seated habits overnight, which were by then like an uncontrolled reflex. I write to heal and change for the better. I write things about myself that are uncomfortable, and then share them to force myself to look at it and deal with it in a very therapeutic manner. If I can make myself uncomfortable with what I'm sharing, I know I am being successful. What I share and bring into the light becomes less impactful on me.
And when writing for others, I don't believe you entice someone to feel something other than what is already at their core. You share your emotion and if they relate to it, you invoke that emotion in them. The more heartfelt, honest, and open your sharing is, the higher your potential to invoke the feeling within them.
Thank you for sharing your comments and I wish you all the best.

Hang in there my friend.
It took a lot of years for me to recognize I was relating to people based on things early in life that had a profound impact I didn't see. It went unrecognized because so much was dealt within me on a subconscious level. Once it was finally brought to light, it was like a vale was lifted and I found it to be quite astounding that I hadn't recognized it before. But the recognition doesn't heal deep-seated habits overnight, which were by then like an uncontrolled reflex. I write to heal and change for the better. I write things about myself that are uncomfortable, and then share them to force myself to look at it and deal with it in a very therapeutic manner. If I can make myself uncomfortable with what I'm sharing, I know it is successful. What I share and bring into the light becomes less impactful on me.
And when writing for others, I don't believe you entice someone to feel something other than what is already at their core. You share your emotion and if they relate to it, you invoke that emotion in them. The more heartfelt, honest, and open your sharing is, the higher your potential to invoke the feeling within them.
Thank you for sharing your comments and I wish you all the best.