Some advice please.
I've been through a lot in the last twelve months or so. Had a full on nervous breakdown last December which I now understand is as a result of a lifetime of little defeats and self-esteem issues.
I've always been a sensitive person and have been described as an empath more than once in my life.
I had my first Reiki healing session two weeks ago and I felt great afterwards. The best way I can think to describe it is that I felt safe and protected.
That lasted about a week before it started dwindling.
Anyway, I had my second appointment today and my experience was different. I was quite anxious throughout and I found myself in a kind of half sleep, half awake state. I believe the term is hypnogogic. You know that weird period where your thoughts are strange just before you fall asleep? Well it was like that, but the thoughts weren't particularly pleasant. I can't be sure, but they felt more like memories. Maybe of past lives or something? I don't know.
Also, towards the end of the session, the practitioner was doing something around my head/upper chest area and I felt really anxious and had to fight to avoid not jumping up and having a full blown panic attack.
Afterwards, the practitioner said she kept having to cough because of something to do with my energy and she also said that when she worked on my right side shoulder area, she felt almost pushed away by my energy.
The whole experience was a bit strange, but the practitioner said she wasn't getting anything 'negative' as such and was happy to keep working with me.
I'm very new to Reiki so I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts they might like to share with me about my experience?
I am a very old school Reiki practitioner/teacher who teaches that ours is not to diagnose nor to share impressions during a session.
Had this happened to me, during the sesson I would have made friends with the energy of your body and not been worried that one area was reacting different than another. I would not have judged it good, nor bad, nor dialoged with you about what was happening for me, because it is your session, not mine.
Then, when you got off the table, if you told me that you were having these types of reactions, I would tell you that Reiki works at very deep levels and sometimes a session can bring great peace and sometimes a session can bring things up in your being. But to always remember, if something comes up, it is for acceptance and release.
My job in that moment would have been to make you not judge your own experience, understand that "Reiki works" and that you can take this experience as an opportunity to love anything that's coming up for you.
If someone was still concerned about what they were feeling, I would have them sit again and take them through a grounding exercise.
If someone wanted to speak deeply about things that were coming up to their consciousness, I would tell them that I do not have any training as a therapist and I would be happy to listen and help them feel ok to feel, but I could not make any suggestions for integrating a past experience.
I know this may not be super helpful but just wanted to let you know my role in my experience. I have had many, many people under my hands and just like the intelligence that is you guides the energy for you, the intelligence that is you is the best person to guide you in your next steps. In my experience, it has always worked out.
Had this happened to me, during the sesson I would have made friends with the energy of your body and not been worried that one area was reacting different than another. I would not have judged it good, nor bad, nor dialoged with you about what was happening for me, because it is your session
Hi, and thank you for the reply. To be fair to her, she didn't judge anything as good or bad. She told me about the energy on my right hand side (which perhaps she shouldn't have done), but it was me who was worried about it. I think I forced her into offering me some reassurance.
For some reason, I've convinced myself that my own mind is too 'far gone' for Reiki to work on me and I think that is what I mean by evil spirit. I feel like my 'evil' energy is too much for a Reiki practitioner to cope with. When I told her this afterwards, she again reassured me that she wasn't finding it too difficult to work with me.
I think when I started panicking, that was resistance on my behalf to let go. Like on some level I was fighting the healing. Does this make sense? Is this normal?
A huge part of my problem is that I'm afraid of my own mind and I think that by having Reiki healing I'm opening a kind of Pandora's Box or something.
I'm so afraid, but still getting a sense that I need to push forward with this.
Rest assured, Reiki is a natural energy that adjusts to the needs of the recipient.
Being afraid of healing is definitely a normal response for anyone who has suffered because it is an unknown.
If you have a therapist that you can discuss your fears with, I would continue with that. A therapist can provide you with tools to understand why things come up as fear, when they do, and what you're afraid of.
For the Reiki, start thinking about it like a warm bath or a nap on a hammock, or put your mind into the clouds and let them drift along. Using imagery like this might help put your mind at ease while getting a treatment.
Let me give you an example of how Reiki may help you in an anxiety situation. Reiki, natural and gentle, adjusting to the needs of the receipient, may actually bolster your resilience so that if you have a time of anxiety, you are able to move through it easier. In this last Reiki session you were able to not have a full blown panic attack and come through it with the ability to analyse it and perhaps gain some understanding of self.
Was it the Reiki that caused the panic or was it the Reiki that allowed you to navigate the panic?
If it were me, I would continue with therapy to get tools for my mind to work with and I would continue with Reiki to have energetic/emotional/spiritual support healing.
Im sorry your having problems hopeful harry!!
Ill say a prayer!!
Thank you Bambo!
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