What is this, a bad joke?
 

It hit me today. I remember too much from my past life in the most recent one when I was married for a time to a fellow who would develop a drinking problem, who would be controlling and jealous, who would be strict and handsome and having a big smile, humor, who was tall and had broad shoulders, who could get an "unkind" look in his eyes but too "great tenderness" when looking at who I was in that life. He was too, in my taste, "steamy" by nature. He would too be involved with some bad guys. I would divorce this guy.

In this life I am in now what happens? My first love developed a drinking problem, another love was jealous (psychopath) and he too was involved with some guys... and the third was controlling of me, others he did not care about (being a son of a narcissist, and control means safety, went to do therapy...and some more therapy to try to save us or what remained)

What is this? What was I suppose to do then in that life? Stay married to him? We were driving each other crazy, as far as I remember. When is enough enough? Why again? Was it because my life was cut short? I have to do it all over again? But I had gone through it already.

We did make peace in that life, after he stop drinking and found God and me too connection to God and we were friends as in friends as in co parenting, perhaps before our time, he was dominant by nature so he was hard to get rid off, LOL. But as far as I can remember he still knew how to push my buttons.

He was helpful (OK, now I feel bad) in keeping the memory of my past life self alive, with the family and friends we had, through social, media, which was how I got to know. He would express nice things, and keep photos online. Sometimes he got help with it by others.

Through fate or accident it was a close call we met in this life as well. It was as if universe had something up it's sleeve as I through my then work and where I was, suddenly found myself in communication with someone working for him! I never would believe would ever happen. The odds for any of that to happen were very small if not down to zero.

I always wondered to myself if I had dared to meet him, if the circumstances would have been such, if I had not retreat back when I did, would he have recognized my spirit in this new body? He could then have been my grandpa, LOL, but then a young grandpa. I had always thought our worlds were so far apart even if I knew he and the family still were alive and living in the same time zone. That it had been a mistake I remembered. That they only would think I was a nut case if I had said anything. I had not wanted to remember in the first place, but why would they believe that?

Its such a bad joke that the defects in him is something that I was to face in 3 different loves over time.

I don't know, when enough is enough?...when we have had enough and
we are extremely clear on that?
Christians can call it 'overcoming'.
Understanding these types, not being bothered by these kinds of people...
(sometimes also called forgiveness) and just feeling your power...imo,
'wards them off'.
When that is overcome...you move onto other things to conquer...oh joy.
Something to look fwd to! :icon_cool:

Two thoughts:

1) He may be part of your soul group hence he is now in the same present as you.

2) He may be in this lifetime learning how to become more loving and deal with his addiction and anger issues and it doesn't mean necessarily that the two of you are destined to be together.


I've mentioned before the guy that I had a 15-year on-and-off relationship with beginning in high school where we met. I later found out that we'd had multiple lives together due to a soul contract we'd made "always together in life and death." I broke that contract in this life after getting really tired with all this on and off business and the highs and lows of a roller-coaster relationship. We have now been apart for almost 30 years. I have absolutely no desire to be with him at all in this lifetime anymore, as far as I'm concerned the soul contract is broken and that's the way I want it to be. He's made no move to find me although he does show up in my dreams very rarely.

This is very interesting case.
Maybe he crossed this lifetime in this life with you so that you can put an end to that connection, called karmic debts.
No one needs to repeat the same patterns from lifetime and lifetime again.
He is a soul who is in a evolution, needs time to realize that he in his own path.

Plus, i don´t think you made peace in that life with him, because he came the same as he was in this lifetime. If you had made peace he wouldn´t come and no need to meet in this lifetime. Just my opinion.

I think you really need to clear that lifetime, so new things can be brought to you.
We all need to clear wounds from the past, pastlives. Close contracts too, there is a free will.

i don't think it is that easy. There is something that is regularly presented to me, and i always make the same mistake in relation to it. If it could just go away and not bother me any more I would love that! It is really a bother. But honestly it has happened often enough that I suspect it is going to keep coming my way until I don't make the same mistake any more.

Thank you all for your help :)

I am working today on changing my tactics on how to deal with dominant/selfish people (the ex husband was one of them). Those who are too pushy to have things their way without consideration of others.

Before I used to explain myself and excuse myself and try to find solutions that would work for all, but of course a dominant/very selfish person would want as much as possible his or her way. No give and take.

Today I keep things short, I do not back down, I keep my emotions out of it. I know that if I only open just a little bit of that door of options for it to have things all it's way it will take it.

That I will not be as kind and unselfish to someone who is not like that with me or with others. Before when people (including my own partner) would come pointing a finger at me, all authority, saying you have done so and so wrong, I would be taken by surprise and at once thinking yes, I must have done something wrong. It was easy to quilt trip me in the past.

Today I take a deep breath within, and handle it differently. I try to cut off the nervous streak in me and I guess this take practice. I have to find a way to cut off my thoughts, that it is enough. I have some difficulty with that at times. I am the kind of person who through some sort of vulnerability? and sensitivity have a way of sucking everything into my system.

I don't know what lessons beside sticking up for myself that I was suppose to learn from his defects, then planted into these other loves along my way.

I think perhaps the unfinished business between myself and the past-life-ex-husband was a lot of things maybe. It was the longest relationship I think she had in her life. When he died I knew it through a dream and it was to be confirmed.

Fascinating past lives…