I'm too sensitive for relationships/intamicy
 

Hi
I've always been a very sensitive person/man. Being around other people is incredibly overwhelming for me. This has been a common theme in my life since I was a young child. This has caused to become a very isolated individual. I can't connect very well with other men due to this so don't have many friends. If I meet a girl im attracted too the feelings of attraction overwhelm me and so I can't pursue them.

This way of life really sucks. But I've been alone a long time and feel I could live like this and be reasonably happy.

I wondered if any other sensitive people here have removed themselves from relationships? Or have any tips? Thanks

My second set of parents are the only people with whom I really engage. Perhaps also with some family friends and my soul mate. Others are pretty superficial.

I can give the appearance of sociability but I know myself as a loner and perfectly happy about that.

Now, approaching 40 I have difficulty forming relationships - I think basically because I don't want to have to adjust. It does seem to pose problems the older one gets!
Perhaps it's more that people have difficulty with me. Until a few years ago relationships were basically transactions that had a limited lifespan. But as I sought something more permanent I ran into trouble. I've had a b/f for a couple of years and things were going fine until his hint that we should move in together became an expectation. A few weeks ago he asked me why I wasn't ready to sell my flat (as with space available there's no hope of him moving in with me). I shrugged it off but later he asked me 'when' and it turned me off just like that. Which means the end is in sight. I give it another week. He knows it too.

We've been great while keeping our independence but I can foresee all kinds of problems living under the same roof.... well, that's what it would be - living under the same roof rather than being a couple. I need time and space to do my work.

So it's really a matter of what you feel you can put up with. In later years I might regret not making a better effort right now. I think you have to weigh that up. Neither of us is unique in this. But I feel it's better to be honest with oneself than, say, crave a relationship as a rite of passage and have to do a lot of work to maintain it. Why should one? Best just to stay amenable.

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Hi,

I'm curious - are you a sensitive or intolerant?

I'm a sensitive and for me what works is to take everything and everyone with a grain of salt. The rewards of having relationships far outweigh walking the planet alone. I don't believe we're meant to do that.