Spiritual Forums

I stumbled upon this forum about week or so ago. As the usual way trying to find a answer to something. I was highly intrigued and appreciative of the overall atmosphere of this forum that I couldn't make myself stop going from page after page. Mostly because I finally found a piece of a puzzle that I could not find to make for it to make since of it as an whole. An that of course made a few other puzzles start coming together....

A brief intro to why I came to point in the first place.
I had gotten cancer awhile back back ago, it was just a (sun) skin cancer on my lip. By the time I was able to actually get anything done about it, no insurance and all. It turned progressively to the point where the Dr's had to do one of thoughs "jaw in a day" to remove it. The cancer was eating it's way through the bone basically. The surgery it self caused a lot of issues including my flow of energy and after surgery I had to do radiation treatments in my face....was not fun at all. Between the surgery and the radiation this caused a huge impact on me in I guess you can spiritually. I don't mean like self doubt or is there a God or how could God do this. More in the lines of my spiritual self being, even my thinking was affected greatly due to the radiation, surgery, and improper flow of energy. Oh and the surgery did a big number on my neck since they had to discet it to remove... I keep forgetting what there called..there like filter's in the body that removes or traps toxins in the body. I'll look up the name later, they removed around 80 of them in my neck. Took me almost a year to have mobility in my neck. I still remember the first time I was able to actually move my neck and pop it. It was huge surge of energy all the way up. My normal thinking process was on fire but I knew that I wasn't truly ready for it yet no matter how much I missed and wanted it back. I had a lot more healing to do and I also took complete advantage of the situation as well as tackled the one thing I never been able to do.
Which is another spew in itself and I am already turning this into some kind of blog intro.
So in short when I was younger I knowingly and willingly unleashed my thinking side to compete with my Intuitive side.
The situation I found myself in with the effects from cancer, surgery, radiation I was actually grateful for it. I wonder if anyone has actually been grateful to have gotten cancer before.
Back to my so called brief intro...I became addicted to the energy that I induced so during that time of healing from the physical aspects of the cancer effects. I was also able to start to heal the spiritual effects of something I started...and kinda tried to bury...when I was a teenager, currently 43. I was fully aware of the dangers when I did that when I was younger but I was also fully aware to accept whatever may become of it.

For the first time in over 20 years I am starting to feel more like I use to instead of my Intuitive side strengthening my thinking side and vise versa. What a journey it's been though

Sorry for the intertwining and possibly rambling intro. I tried to express where I was, been, and where I am currently.