Got to put the effort in your self?
 

So I’ve been doing some soul searching, after cutting my hair that’s at neck line, and cutting a piece too short- I figured that everything you want you have to do your self but you should always do it in small bits and gradually increase..

Not all wisdom of this part like me being a bit sluggish and putting the blame on fate -

I figured out you really need to do everything for the self with so much effort as much as you want it!!!

Job hunting hasn’t been going well, interviews been coming in but I’m stalling somewhere??

My take on reincarnation and the pain I endure…
… I figured that I really need to put the hard work into overcoming what I think I see at first, for instance the pain is probably pseudo but seems real..

You’ve got to want it to start the process in enabling you to achieve it or be entangled with the outcome….

I’m not going to be to hard on the self but I am sowing a lot and reaping quite the contrary.. lot more if I hadn’t, put effort like I am..

All my life I’ve blamed fate when it’s my spirit that can manifest legs for it’s self.. or get in to a body without my higher self taking over.. I may be in deep space but I really want these things.. but when the mind and body are not working in unison- what can I do about it??

Trying again..

Putting more effort into it..

Seeing the silver linings..

I use to take the silver linings for granted because things like teleportation: I would endure a lot before I could control it..
Or my spirit soul was adamant it’s sleeping when I wanted to be awake and causing me difficulty getting anywhere that I commanded.

But I suppose being my own best friend, getting to know the self:

The thing is I don’t always agree with my higher self.. putting me in a female, and Carly..

But these things I need to know who I am..

I’m sensitive, and caring but my aloof nature towards my higher self and fate regarding the illness of situations they got me in was actually a silver lining..

I’ve learned so much about the self.. and had many experiences including being in a man…

I know the difference now and I know the burden my twin flame has to go through and not take for granted my strength and masculinity…

I could never hurt a woman..

And plus Carly isn’t so bad she’s my best friend…

But I blamed these things: but it was my rash, eagerly self that miscalculated and communicated wrongfully with the self including the higher self..


I’ve got much to learn.. but I’m ready to learn.. no matter what cost - including pain..

Would I take the place if Carly as a man and take her pain? Instead?

A part of me would say yes but the patience it takes I would say no..

That makes me half the man I think I am?

In hindsight I did take the pain.. so respect to me..

But my relationship with fate has got to change because the way my soul spirit is acting is a reflection of my self, I understand that reflection a lot of people are seeing.. I mean I’m not powerful, magic, teleportation: manifesting at want and need…

But magic, jumping ect has occurred.. so that’s also a reflection of the self??

One day I will have it all and I want to be a person that appreciates it not takes it for granted even though it took 5000 reincarnations and 5000 pain body’s to get a scrapping of the just..

Life gives you opportunities everyday and I want to be a person that takes them not let them pass me by..

No wonder I go through so much pain it’s to teach me about order and wisdoms..

I want it all know, when I know the headache is around the corner… but pain is around the corner and life is after it..

This pain is the pain I gave to the self..with my desires and wants and needs..

I’m getting everything I deserve to a point.. I shouldn’t portray my self as a coward when in fact I was facing each pain and death head on in the moment of things… I endured..