My family pick on me...?
 

Hi everyone,

I know this sounds really pathetic, but I can't stand it anymore!

The women in my family are really b-tchy (sorry for the language) and are all nice to me when alone but when they're together they make fun of my appearance, tell me to shut up and that I'm a know-it-all when all I'm trying to do is help. They will literally all giggle and make shady comments about me, exchange looks and LOVE IT when I give a reaction.

My mum claims to be spiritual but then I catch her judging people. She is a good mother and has looked after me well, but loves to try and humiliate me in front of other family members or exaggerate about my behaviour (to make me sound bad).

I'm a thick skinned person but this is getting beyond the joke. If I ever refuse to help my mum further her spiritual practices (e g. Share my spiritual knowledge with her) I'm called 'a horrible person'... Yet when I try to help her improve something I'm a know-it-all. I get along with everyone at college, so I know that I'm not the problem! I'm not overly sensitive and don't get offended easily so I pretty much never argue with anyone (outside of the family, only these select female members).

When I said I was thinking of moving out next year (when I apply to uni) my mum was saying how much she'd miss me! She is the sweetest person when alone but turns into a monster with others. I cannot talk to her about her behaviour because she brushes it off and turns it on me!

Can anyone make suggestions? I'm at my wits end.

So sorry to hear you're having a family like this. We can choose our friends but not our family. It could be because they envy you as even family members can feel jealousy towards their own kin. Try to have nothing or little to do with them anymore.

Thank you! Well I'll have moved out next year so that should help!

Hello Cherry, you don't sound pathetic it's ok to tell people how you feel.


I would say don't give them a reaction, or the reaction there looking for instead of getting mad give them a smile they might be suprised by that.


Stay at a distance from your mother if you feel you should, it's alright to do that, stay calm, go to uni if you want. Living with people like this can also be a good chance to grow and learn good communication skills and also how to deal with people you find unpleasant, you can benefit from it.

I grew up in a blended family CherryCherry and I was the scapegoat in our family. So I do understand this is not your imagination.

If you have time you might read this article on it:

Scapegoating is a serious family dysfunctional problem with one member of the family or a social group being blamed for small things, picked on and constantly put down. In scapegoating, one of the authority figures has made a decision that somebody in the family has to be the bad guy. The mother or father makes one child bad and then looks for things (sometimes real, but most often imagined) that are wrong.

Read the rest of the article here.

http://byregion.net/articles-healers/Scapegoating.html

Move out when you have the possibility, and then talk to your mother about how you feel about her behavior. Even if she do not listen then, you are at least standing on a better ground. Then leave and let go.

linen what an amazing article!

Yes I can.

1) YOu are young woman and she is terrified of losing you.

2) "when they're together they make fun of my appearance"


May I ask why?

Good advice.

Linen offered good advice.

Not pathetic at all. I think your just ready to grow and move on.That is what we do as we age; we grow,evolve and move on to the next phase in life. No different than being in a bad relationship or marriage. We start resisting the people around us and awaken to the idea that where ever we are is no longer serving our greater purpose. Very common in your age group actually.
So ya, in short, save your money and move out. Nothing more rewarding than having your own space.

However, make no mistake, people will treat you the way you allow them to. Raise your voice, you matter, and your words matter. Maybe look into meditative exercises in clearing your throat chakra.