'I' is not the problem....
 

The trouble is that everybody thinks that 'I' is the problem.

Happy self acceptance and self love is not the problem. The problem is self hatred and self rejection.

Than I would suggest, accept yourself, don't hate yourself, (not sure how to hate oneself) it's very easy. Nothing difficult at all.

maybe the problem is not "I" or me, it's where i put my attention. put it on or in negative energies, negative experiences result

It depends what the context is. In order to become more spiritually focused, the I/ego IS considered something that requires attention. Ancient spiritual teachings talk of minimising the ego since otherwise it can so easily eclipse our soul/spirit if too big i.e. self centred/selfish.

In terms of psychology, then I would regard low self esteem as being the root cause of many sources of problems springing from this e.g. self hatred/rejection, sabotage...it's a long list!

Surely, I can't talk for others ... Neither self acceptance, nor self love will help much. Nor self hatred or self rejection are problems, for most people.

I just wrote to somebody else:

Most of the challenges we face are caused by our ignoring our individual limitations and priorities. Defective-overthinking and/or lack-of-thinking.

I believe that we don't face more "difficult challenges these days" than any time in history. It is only that being ours, they're oversized by our emotional perceptions.

Don't fear, don't be angry, don't hate, ..., don't waste your time. Think about you doing something that would make you feel proud of yourself (not what others believe, or say).

The "I" may seem to be a problem as long as it is underdeveloped, and we don't purposefully work toward developing it.

Honza, I identify with your discussion item and I'm surprised at the responses you have received on this topic which you have posted in different threads in different ways.

I hear you and agree that focusing on something that makes you feel better does little to address a much more penetrating issue underlying many of the problems "outcomes" we see in society every day.

It seems evident to me that self rejection (hatred, fear, loathing) is the basis of much of our creations, which continue to attract and propagate more of the same individually and collectively. No amount of affirmations or positive focus will eradicate the fear-based creation. Apparently, only directly addressing the elusive shadow and transmuting it is effective in dismantling these powerful energies.

Love is truly the antidote, but attaining that level of self love seems to be very challenging. I support your efforts to identify, clear and release these shadows and claim your equal support for my own efforts. Most of them reside in our subconscious. We must become aware of them and why they exist before we can release them. They are teaching us our worthiness, our value, and how to use our gifts to help one another.

I keep a dedicated journal for identifying and addressing what I call "false beliefs." I thinks this helps bring them forward in awareness for transmutation.

Z

Ẁhere there is self hatred and self rejection, surely the solution IS self love i.e. not giving it dubious lip service (via affirmations etc) but truly opening up to this, allowing it to absorb our being and so transform our mindset.

How does one define self love? What is it? How is it manifested?

I could give you my own definition but prefer to offer an acceptably understood definition of self love, which I agree with:-
'Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. ... Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves.'
https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/s...-what-it-means

As to how it is manifested, I would say by acknowledging your virtues more than your vices which is taken care of by having a positive mindset. Being mindful of negative thought patterns and addressing these.

Are you really unfamiliar with self love?

Perhaps I am.

I'm genuinely curious what you and others believe self-love to be. I don't see how this definition differs from an ego based one, or how it incorporates sacrifice as a basic tenet of love. We will not overcome our vices by affirming our virtues, at least, I haven't seen it happening.

There is a bifurcation of the self here. Vices and virtues. It seems that self love must incorporate loving ourselves in all of our behaviors, else we are not loving ourselves, but fragmenting ourselves. How can we not love part of ourselves and still claim to love ourselves?

In myself, I find fragmentation, which I am in practice to observe without judgment. That alone I find challenging. So I cannot claim to love myself.

It would be helpful if you could share a deeper meaning of self love, and any insight on complete integration.

Z