Confused and conflicted about my beliefs
Growing up I went to church and became Christian when I was about 23. I was into astrology and that before becoming Christian and I used to watch lots of ghost shows. I never felt right watching them. I felt my mental health went dark and I felt watched sometimes at night.
When I was a small girl I had a voice talk to me and say “you’re going to hell”. I also heard footsteps down the hall when I was alone one time and a creepy presence from a wardrobe. I couldn’t sleep in my room for a while after the footsteps incident because I felt watched. When I was about 19 I felt a strong presence of warmth in my room when my mum prayed for me one time. When I became a Christian I dismissed it all as satanic lies and demons. I gave it all up and focused on Christianity. I believed in the afterlife but wasn’t sure if the stories I watched were lies or not. Like the “went to hell and had a second chance” or “I saw heaven and..”. I didn’t believe ghosts were loved ones and solely just demons. As the years went by I discovered Christianity wasn’t adding up for me. I have watched plenty of things since then and I am so conflicted. I don’t know what to make of good/evil.. what are demons, spirits, entities, orbs.. do people pass on immediately onto another life or stay evil as they were on earth doing bad things or are these demons? Why haven’t they passed on? What about suicides, do they pass on? How are haunted houses sometimes with “evil” spirits saying wicked things into EVP recordings and scratching people and harming them and then there are the “good” ones which don’t? I’ve seen some which still claim it’s a spirit of a human(non demon) but it scratched. So people still stay bad after they pass sometimes? Don’t they go onto the next life? I noticed traumatic deaths often lead to hauntings. In Christianity you don’t haunt you pass on to heaven or hell but it also says you “sleep”.. But in the bible Samuel appeared to King Saul?? This isn’t dismissed as being not him at all. Despite his practice to contact him being condemned. Sometimes people are brought back to life in the bible too. Such as Lazarus. I’ve also watched lots of stories of people seeing the next life and reincarnations such as a man having a deep pain from a grief of his daughter’s school friend. He discovered she was his past life daughter. She also appeared to him. People claim to be reincarnated of somebody but also these deceased people also can talk to people. It’s all very confusing. I have dabbled in pendulums to just get confusion and tarot and oracle cards. I feel bad having them and feel it’s possibly deceit as I’ve been taught from my background. |
You may eventually come to understand and experience that the answers to your life are all right within you. The questions, conflicts, and confusion, is all in your head while the answers are in your heart, at the core of your being, deep within your ability to feel.
What you are going through is your search for truth, or a more solid foundation for your life. Experience, in my opinion, is the greatest teacher. It is not about what we believe, but if we are going to believe let that belief be grounded in some sort of evidence that you have experienced. You have conditioned your self, as we all have, and it may be helpful to unravel that conditioning. It does not matter how you identify your spiritual path; call it Christian or something else; in my experience it all exists in deep silence. It all exists beyond words and thoughts. You will not know it by the labels placed on it rather you will know it because it touches your heart, and your heart knows it to be true. Life definitely goes on beyond this physical existence. But it is not important to know what that is all about. The most important thing is to try and live in the moment, whether you are in this world or beyond. We are all just here for the ride, it is pure journey. Flow with it and trust the process of life. Inner conflicts can be the darkness before the dawning of much light. Hang-in-there. Understand that the answer is in the question, and lots of people just do not know what questions to ask of themselves. The answers are within you and you can hear them more clearly when you learn how to quiet your mind. Intuitive guidance is impeccable. The divine spark of God is within you; you have to clear yourself to feel it and see it. Prayer and meditation does work. Peace and Good Journey:smile: |
Quote:
The physical body is discarded at death and shortly afterwards the etheric or vital body is also discarded. But while the etheric body remains that person may appear to others whose sight is more sensitive. Hence the numerous stories about certain family members seeing a relative who has just died. Even without a physical body, consciousness continues to express through the personality which remains unchanged, still functioning through the mental body and astral or emotional body. Then various things may happen.
For those who move from the physical Earth plane to one of the astral planes, various destinations are possible.
The real point of all this is that everyone is responsible for wherever they find themselves after death. Wherever they might be, they can always change things if they so desire. Peace |
A lot of good points have been said by both Starman and iamthat
Namaste |
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