HONESTY
 

If we're unwilling to be honest with ourselves about what we want and don't want - about what we're WILLING to do to get to where we want to be -
why on earth would anything change for us? HOW on earth will anything change for us?

How many folks have been in the position where they wished someone else would do their problem solving for them so that
wouldn't have to own or be responsible for the situation they're in or the outcome? Good or Bad?

Being honest with one's self isn't really THAT hard. It never killed anybody.

Honesty's the best policy so they say.

utopiandreamchild

Sometimes what we want may not be the right thing for us. but it is no good on Blaming anyone else for it.
what does that solve?


Namaste

Unfortunately being honest with yourself requires radical acceptance of all of those parts you might not think you’d hold within. That can be very hard for some. But as I’ve learned, the good the bad and the ugly you react too is all about you and while you avoid yourself in the ways you can’t look honestly at, your doing yourself a disservice and creating a life to match..

People have so many opportunities through life and others to notice the truth as it is moment to moment. It all starts within, but many look outside themselves for the answers. Or if the truth hits them, they blame the external for that little piece that keeps knocking on their door just because it’s time to notice..

i was in kind of a quandrary... I believed about the take responsibility thing hook line and sinker right up to the point that it became too obvious that other people had kind of made it a mantra that they could do anything they wanted and I wouldn't complain... I would instead take the fault for whatever was happening and try to fix it. Believing whole-heartedly I had put myself there so it was my responsibility.

From my POV, when I realized that that was what was going on I also realized I had ended up bearing most of the burden, and others weren't bearing their own weight. And a lot of mean things were happening to me as a result, and honestly, once I saw that none of it had to be happening to begin with other than that someone wanted to put it in front of me..

I felt that that was a toxic environment to be in.

Inasmuch as overall it can be a bad idea to not consider your own role in things... it can also be a bad idea to think you have a role beyond what your own role really is. Yes I have a role in what is happening to me, but to blindly assume I am fully responsible for everything that happens within my frame of reference is very much a disaster. Other people play a role in things too.

The answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Dishonesty is heavy while honesty is light and radiant; it is open. Although lots of people don’t know what they want, and for many their entire life may be a series of trials and errors. If a person lies to themselves enough they will begin to believe their own lies, and those lies may be seen as actual truths to them.

“We do not see the world as it is rather we see the world as we are.” We see the world, and ourselves, according to our own conditioning, social conditioning, cultural conditioning, etc. Honesty as we know it may be all we can offer. I think a lot of people feel vulnerable when they are honest about themselves, or even to themselves.

Yes Starman I have actually witnessed people who believe their own lies. Unbelievable but it is true.

For me personally honesty is the only way to go.

The fact we know the experience mentioned means it is known and done so is ok to do, if it is done, else it would not be done. The choice. The feeling it is ok or made ok to and that is being justified (openly). We create our own realities. If we do, isn't it felt ok or justified.

I think you describe "maturity", more than "honesty". A difference between those terms is that the latter has an intentional implication, while the former is inherent to the condition. For example: an adult vs. a child.

To be honest, I found in my own experience it generally associated around (materiel) things, stuff. What is the attachment to things and why so strong may be more appropriate. The attachment. I have experiences it being more about me, my selfishness, that can be answered by self. What is the intention as well. We have forgotten to mention intention of it. I think meditation on the question is possible, to explore it. Yet keep in mind the change being referred to is determine by the moment of now. Anyone else see this as learning as well? Why is the experience (test) necessary? Are we learning to be openly honest.