The inability of positivity
 

My 1st experience of sleep paralysis and AP was the night after I read a lot about greek mythology. Not sure if I read about "Mare" before or after AP. Doesn't matter. It was a horrible experience but I'm grateful, else I wouldn't believe in it. I felt like someone dragged me down my bed and I felt like I hit the wardrobe while being dragged, that moment I slipped back into my body and refused to open my eyes. Next thing I know I woke up. Since then I've had a little amount of APs but none where I felt sleep paralysis again.

I would love to travel a little or check the Akashic Library but I can't seem to be able to force AP or.. maybe I can but do something to avoid it, because I do start feeling slight sensations but become scared.

My problem is that I can't simply change my mindstate to think of happy stuff, APs never happened during day and I associate the night with scary things, demons and so on. Even more so because every AP i feel is like someone is dragging me. So in that state of panic, how could I ever think rationally?

Will I never be able to do a proper AP without fear?
What am I to do?

Mate i feel you :C It’s exactly the same for me , when night comes im always like -maybe I don’t need to do it that much. UGH why im such a coward. But with the help of the sweethearts that encouraged me on my post im gonna try to go with the flow tonight and see what will happen. If I don’t post here tomorrow that will mean that things went wrong(i hope not) but if I do , I will tell you and you will know for sure that there is nothing to be scared of. :]

Right? hh I long for magical experiences. The common lifestyle of what they call 9-5 gives me no happiness, but, say I don't work at all. I don't really find much interests in the world. The astral world and spiritual stuff interests me because it makes me feel like I'm at least touching a fairy tale with my toes. :rolleyes:

Even if they go wrong (hope not ;D ) why wouldn't you post hh. I joined to talk so stop by the topic or my PMs haha :)

Perhaps if you had the light or lamp on you may not be afraid to ap.